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My kids are a mess after W BD'd our M in May. Already they are totally different and fight really nasty with horrible language like I have never seen them before. Its only been 3 months and already a huge difference. I think what has caused this is W has just told them M and D are splitting up and if you are not comfortable speaking with Dad about it then tell him. Because no one has communicated properly with them they are just assuming that I "did something really bad to make mommy do this". Of course when I try to correct them they say mommy told us we didn't have to talk about it if it makes us uncomfortable. Of course it makes them uncomfortable.


M: 48
W: 45
Married: 16 years
D1-14, D2-11, D3-9
BD: May 29
She moved out 2 weeks later with kids
Awaiting mediation
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 412
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Originally Posted By: SunnyB
Originally Posted By: ep0215
I am disgusted by this. Just as I am disgusted with my H by him saying he stuck around for a year and it didn't get better so he is out. How could it get better if you didn't participate in the marriage or the healing of the marriage. It isn't a magic trick. Sheesh!
Yes, my STBX said something along those same lines. That in the 7 months between BD and S, nothing changed. Yeah...well... he never gave up the duck, never gave MC a chance, never went to IC. How does the M have a chance?


Yep! Precisely! Even though there is nothing I can do about it, I do feel for him because he still isn't doing those things and I know this decision won't make him happy in the end. Maybe it will for a little while but not long term.


Me:33 H:36
T:13 years
M:10 years
S4
Separated 05/15
H Filed 06/15
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It's still someone in a fog talking and it is unfortunate that they are on a world stage so can do significant damage to others. It's the same as many of our sitch's, but scaled up and there nothing we can do about it.

Our WS or WAS will tell people about how bad we were to them in a history re-written diatribe, blah, blah, blah, some will believe them others won't, there nothing you can do about it, the same as you can't control what the press print, so just accept it and focus on more important things. Allowing stories like this to effect you may unwittingly, impact how you deal with some of the sh1t that comes along in your sitch's and that would be a horrible thing.

I don't keep up with the news as I believe that if something's really that bad someone will tell me about it anyway so why bother proactively seeking out negative stuff.


- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow
- Consult your plan, not your feelings
- If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
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Originally Posted By: duke
My kids are a mess after W BD'd our M in May. Already they are totally different and fight really nasty with horrible language like I have never seen them before. Its only been 3 months and already a huge difference. I think what has caused this is W has just told them M and D are splitting up and if you are not comfortable speaking with Dad about it then tell him. Because no one has communicated properly with them they are just assuming that I "did something really bad to make mommy do this". Of course when I try to correct them they say mommy told us we didn't have to talk about it if it makes us uncomfortable. Of course it makes them uncomfortable.


I am so sorry about this... and I strongly feel that this is Parental Alienation and should be addressed in counseling.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 456
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It amazes me the level of selfishness these people have stating that Divorce is the best thing that ever happened to them.

Did they ever consider asking ANYONE in the family? NOpe


M35 W33 S14 D12
M14
ILYBNILWY 07/14
BD 7/14
S 5/15

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"
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Hang on, isn't she an actress who troops off around the world at the drop of a hat and leaves her family with nannies etc? I think I'll take what she preaches with an enormous dollop of salt.

Let's face it, if she hadn't got her clothes off in Titanic, she'd be a jobbing actor touring the seaside in panto.


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
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Posts: 53
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Originally Posted By: ep0215
I am disgusted by this. Just as I am disgusted with my H by him saying he stuck around for a year and it didn't get better so he is out. How could it get better if you didn't participate in the marriage or the healing of the marriage. It isn't a magic trick. Sheesh!


I agree with this..I got the same spiel...I "waited" for a year but nothing changed...so I'm done!..wha?huh?where?..in what way were we working on the marriage?


Me:43 W:38
M:10 T:11
D:10 S:8
BD: 1/1/15
Sep:4/1/15
D filed: 8/12/15
1st court date: 9/22/15
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,708
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OH, DIVORCE BASHING! IN!!! I'M HERE!!! wink

I think you've all said it all already. Just wanted to jump on the bandwagon. Thank you all for giving hope that there are people that see the value in a permanent M.

(Now I wish Jack had let Rose jump smile )

Last edited by Zues126; 09/07/15 02:19 PM.

Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
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Posts: 1,435
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Zues, watch Insurgent, I think you'll like what happens to her. I won't give any spoilers.



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