10-4 Cali and thanks. Like I said, if W gets bent out of shape that I am there I don't really care. She would be ticked off either way anyways so what difference to me does it make? If I go I am "butting in" if I don't go I am a bad Dad.
On another note, I am amazed how much of a difference getting out of the house and doing strenuous physical activity makes. I left work early yesterday and played about 4 hours of beach volley ball (just like the old days, the really old days). It felt awesome. I came back home, cleaned up and had a great sleep.
Message is - don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself and wondering what W or S is doing. Focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Exercise daily and you WILL feel better.
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
10-4 Cali and thanks. Like I said, if W gets bent out of shape that I am there I don't really care. She would be ticked off either way anyways so what difference to me does it make? If I go I am "butting in" if I don't go I am a bad Dad.
On another note, I am amazed how much of a difference getting out of the house and doing strenuous physical activity makes. I left work early yesterday and played about 4 hours of beach volley ball (just like the old days, the really old days). It felt awesome. I came back home, cleaned up and had a great sleep.
Message is - don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself and wondering what W or S is doing. Focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Exercise daily and you WILL feel better.
Duke ... if you really don't care .. you would not project her being upset at you if you did or did'nt. You go to the airport because you want to see your girls, not to piss off W, not to prove you are not a bad Dad ... this is a trending theme for you that you need to work on, I hope you understand where I am coming from and not trying to 2x4 you ... its a hill you need to climb.
The outdoor stuff ... yup, especially right now, its a great way to relieve some stress ... lets face it ... nothing more stressful than the boat you are in at the moment, and that is a healthy way to deal with it.
Its such a major role change to go from doing everything for your family including your wife and kids to figuring out what to do whether it is for me and my kids or if it is for my wife in some way. Very strange but I think I am starting to understand.
I am sure it must be extremely strange for a responsible family man to suddenly stop himself from including his W. You may have seen where I've said this before, that when a wife turns wayward and wants to break up her family in order to fulfill her selfish desires, then she has removed herself out from under the umbrella of the H's protection, provision, family events & traditions, and all the things he use to do for her. Understand, she doesn't agree with that statement, b/c she still wants all of those things....but she doesn't want the responsibility of your wife (just the privileges).
Quote:
I read a great book when my first daughter was born and again after each daughter that followed, its called "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters" by Dr. Meg Meeker. The overall message is be the man that you would want your daughters to marry. Treat your wife like you would like a man to treat your daughters. Be what you would want them to expect from a man.
YES, YES, YES!!! Never read the book, but you have practically quoted my very words about fathers, daughters, and wives. It also applies for sons, b/c they need a role model to know how to treat their W's some day. They will treat their W's like daddy treated their mother. Chances are that they will act much like their father acted with their mother. If they saw daddy taking a browbeating from mother, then they will think that is what a H is suppose to do. What a responsibility on men!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
That is a big concern for me. I think with my wifes depression, depression meds, gallbladder surgery, pre-meno all in the last 2 years or so, she just went kinda nuts and started treating me really poorly. Basically just making me a last priority in her life, telling me what to do and how to do it, how to dress, constantly questioning me, the last 2 years I don't think I ever got any birthday, father's day, anniversary gifts or cards. She also lost it on me and yelled at me for a good 5 minutes in front of our kids a year ago and would not apologise. She actually said that she wanted to teach her girls to be strong towards dominant men. HA! I told her she is teaching them how to be divorcees and alone.
What a responsibility on men!