Mutatio - Thank you so much. I indeed have not noticed that. It is a work in progress, and in terms of DB'ing working on it. I don't initiate any conversations, I have stopped doing things for her. I am loving her from a distance.
Sotto - LOL @ getting in at noon. Thank you so much for passing by, it means a lot. Believe me, I wake up at 5:30am and get started with the routine
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
I dropped off the kids to W this evening, as I walked into our home found her crying on the telephone. It seems that she received bad news in regards to my MIL. I knew that my plan to drop them off and walk right out wasn't going to happen.
As soon as she got off of the phone, she began to tell me news that she received, her mom has had a stroke and its at the hospital. I began to console her, tell her that until we hear more from the Dr. not to assume the worst. I hugged her, and kiss her forehead, spoke to her, made her tea, took care of the kids, and even massage her a bit. I don't really know whether this was a good thing or not, but it felt like the right thing to do, I mean as much as I hate where we are, she still an important person in my life.
I remained in the house for some time, when she mentioned she was tired I said that I was going to then leave to allow her to rest with the kids. I wasn't sure if I should have stayed or not, but figured that if she wanted me to stay she would have asked me to. She didn't. I am ok either way (Don't know why) but part of me is sitting here wondering whether I made the right decision in leaving. I still do love her. All I keep thinking is that if we were still in our MR, I would have been holding her and laying with her assuring her we will get through this.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
I am sorry about your MIL's stroke, I hope she can lead a normal life in the future.
EM, don't beat yourself up about what you should have done. Do you really expect yourself to "pitch a perfect game". Each time you make a decision you analyze the facts, weigh the possibilities and make a decision. You have to have faith in yourself that you'll make the best choice. Tonight it was a scary emotional moment for you and your wife. Do you think she was thinking straight? Her mind was probably racing from thought to thought. One second she could wish you were there and the next be glad your gone. If she not sure, it's unclear and your choice was logical.
Get some rest, if MIL's condition worsens you may have a lot more family responsibilities for days or weeks. Good Luck
I understand what you mean, you are right she wasn't in her right mind. I called this morning to check up on her make sure she was doing well. Asked if she could use the car to take the kids Apple picking, I gladly obliged. Met up for a few to drop of the keys, and walk and talked. It brought me down a little to see her but not be able to hold her and kiss her, tell her I am always here for you. But such is life, her decision and I am respecting it.
Today I plan to head out with my brothers and enjoy brunch. Come back and start my Japanese lessons.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
You were there for her. You were there on her terms, not yours. Give the woman what she needs, her mother maybe mentally gone.
In this moment it is not about you, help her. Chances are she is not in her right mind. You play the role of strong supporting husband. In regards to her mother situation do what ever your wife needs. Forget about whats fair.
I would not count on it but through your actions and behavior she could look at you in a different light. It may only be for a second but who knows. Don't help her to emotional manipulate her, do it because it's the right thing to do.
It will be a win (good karma) and it could be a win win.
Mutatio - Thank you so much for sharing the truth with me. You are right, this is not about me at all, and the feelings I have for my wife are to have her happiness in mind. I have told her that I am there for her as always and that she can count me to help her through this time. I make sure to ask how my MIL is doing and how she is feeling.
This not about DB'ing, this is about her as a person I love and care for having the support she needs at such a difficult time. I am here at the capacity that I can be there for her, as a friend if that is what she needs at the moment.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
