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First, it's good he is thinking of what YOU are doing. Whatever GAL'ing and detaching you are doing is working. Be mysterious, it will keep him wondering about YOU and get his mind off OW. The new,confident, independent YOU is desirable. Like I said, get new perfume and sexy underwear or clothes. Maybe change the bedroom to what YOU want it to be to get him off balance. These are actions that he can see that you don't need to tell him about but convey a message.


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Anna25 Offline OP
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Sotto & mvgfwd2,

Thank you for your quick insight, I really appreciate it!

I didn't reply to his message.
It was not a question anyway, and I answered him once, so I think it's ok to leave it.

I bought a cute littel skirt yesterday and got new perfume I ordered today, so I will wear those tomorrow.

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Hi Anna, well done with the self control and not texting him. Yes, I agree with mvgfwd. From what I read, your H is thinking - Is she dating?? Well, maybe I'll feel better if she is too. But, who is this guy?? I don't like it!! etc.....

All of this is helpful I think. Confusion and interest from your H is no bad thing. From your part, I would never lie about what you are doing - just say something about going out with a friend. And if he pushes, you can say - yes, it's a male friend. All absolutely true.

If he says - is it a date. Don't reassure him that no you're not dating. But you could say - we're just going out for a friendly drink. And I certainly wouldn't mention that your friend is gay.

For my part, I've had some contact with mutual friends of H recently. I've been telling them about my new social group and how busy I've been. Made some new friends I've met outside of the social group too. I just haven't mentioned that the social group is female grin - I think it's best to be a little hazy about some things....

Enjoy your dinner out xx


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We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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H just came home in the middle of the night and woke me up. He was drunk. He was making another advance.
I told him 'I can't because I have self respect, we both will feel very bad afterwards.' H was like 'I don't care' I asked him if he doesn't even have that much respect left for me. H said he has so much respect for me. Then why are you doing this? H said ' I still have this much craving for you' ( he made some gesture with his hand on his head but I really didn't understand if it meant a lot or little). Eventually H said 'ok no more' and he left again.

I know I did a right thing not let him, but did I burn the bridge by the way I handled it? I really don't know. Then again he was drunk too.... Now I can't sleep this is great...

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Anna, I think you handled that fine. You weren't mean - just reinforcing your boundary. When you think about it, how appropriate was it for your H to expect to be able to ML to his W in the middle of the night when he was drunk, given his behaviour lately? Reinforcing the boundary was primarily for you. Do you feel like ML to him on that basis?

I think he was trying to 'reclaim' you as 'his' with that move. But I would hold firm on this and he will see that he doesn't get to 'keep' you and OW. If he carries on with OW, he will feel you slipping away like sand through his fingers. You will be going out with 'friends' who may or may not be male and moving forward with your life.

Now, relax as much as you can and try & get some more sleep my friend smile


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We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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