Ugh. Jeff, I feel so bad for you. I can see how much pain you are in. There's nothing to say, but sorry, and you're not alone. I know how much it hurts to have OM in the picture and kids dealing with him. My WW moved out 6 months ago and went straight to OM. She's been living there since and pushing hard the entire time to have our kids accept him. My poor S8 has watched her go into the bedroom many times where he knows OM sleeps, and close the door. He has asked me about it a few times, but now just seems to take it for granted.
It's hard enough when your W bails on the family, but to continuously push the acceptance of a new man during this already painful time launches you into a whole new level of He11. I can't offer much advice that you have not heard many times before. Detachment is the key. Like you, I was really suffering for a long time. The past few weeks have gotten a lot better. Focus on GAL activities, and do your best to work on yourself. I know it isn't easy. Be there for your kids, and don't put down your WW or OM in front of them. They are young now, but will eventually figure this all out for themselves. You need to be the strong, stable, loving parent; you are the only sane one they have. That thought has kept me going many times, when I felt I was ready to give up.
Not sure if you are a spiritual or faithful man, but turning to a higher power can yield miraculous results. You have to accept that you cannot control WW, and when you drop that rope, and truly believe that there is a greater plan at work here, it becomes easier to get through the day. I really hope that things start to turn around for you, but the key is going to be you deciding to focus on yourself and those wonderful kids. Leave your WW to her own devices. Stay strong, and keep posting. We all know your pain, and wishing the best for you going forward.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
Praying for you HurtJeff. You are living a nightmare. There is no way to ease the kind of pain that you must be experiencing. It is very helpful to me to exercise when I am dealing with high levels of emotional pain. Do you have a therapist? I can't imagine going through this without one. Know that your situation is extreme and no one expects you to handle it with grace. Just do your best and realize that you can only control yourself. Eat right, exercise, develop your brain, get really busy. God bless you!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
