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Joined: Apr 2015
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Look at it this way. She has negative feelings about you and your M. She acts negatively (spew, arguments, sniping, cold ...) then you react negatively and that multiplies the overall negativity making it stronger and your wife feels more negative and more sure she is right to want out.

Chin up mate.

If you do decide you have had enough, don't tell W. Actions speak louder than words. Wait until at least next week before deciding. Never decide when emotional. As many have said letting go is not giving up, though often we need to get to the point of giving up to do so.

I don't see this as lost. I understand you
are having a hard time with limbo. Listen to the vets.


R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together
Joined: May 2015
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Huddy Offline OP
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Hi Roiste

Yeah, last night I was ready to say I've had enough. Decided to just have my STFU smoothie and calm down for a few days. Want to see how more of my distancing has an effect.

I'm in the mindset now that W is going and I need to start acting as if that is what is going to happen. I know she hasn't got any plans to move out at the moment, but I'm not going to let her know that. Something has 'gone off' at her parents house, I know not what, so that appears to be a non option.

Normally I get a lift from the station to home. Have decided to decline if she asks and I'll just walk, to get some space.


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
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NDY Offline
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Cadet is going to tell you to start a new thread but let me say if your director is correct, then the important part that I've learned is that they need to goon this journey on their own. Get out of the way and don't try to influence the outcome.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
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Posts: 1,917
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Huddy Offline OP
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M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
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