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Prowl

You do need to stop this behavior. It will only lead to more trouble, you don't want that do you? Do you want to escalte this? No. What you are doing is adding gas to the fire and making it worse.

Please for your sake and your kids sake, deep breath and just let her go for now. There is nothing you can do or say to stop her from doing what she wants. Just let her go. Walk away. I know it feels counter intuitive but walking away and stopping the chase is the best thing to do to stop this downward spiral.

Do you have a good weekend planned? Do you have some GAL activities planned yet? If not, get some lined up. Even if it's just to Home Depot to listen to a class or Barnes and Noble. Just do something to take your mind off your situation. Seriously.


Was made a better person by DB'ers
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Prowl

I sense you are struggling with the advice given.. Have you seen a doctor yet and if so what did he say?

There seems to be an undercurrent of depression in your posts which concerns me.

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 08/03/15 06:57 AM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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How you doing, Prowl? You've had to deal with a lot of mess, and if you need a break, everyone will understand. Just let us hear that you are okay.

Quote:
She called my this morning. and told me I just pushed her further into his arms by making him have to "save her" from me last night. The wuss stood behind the front door and peaked out. Real big hero.


Very much WW script. She's crazy! I said the same thing about my H. Don't pay any attention to it. She's already in the arms of OM, and by her own bad choices. Nobody pushed her.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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How are you holding up Prowl? I am worried about you, buddy.


Me: 38
W: 32
S10 D6
T: 10 (02/2004)
M: 7 (12/2007)
Separation 02/2015
OM confirmed 01/2015,
D mentioned 12/2014
D finalized 9/2016
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It's been a hell of a week... I found a message in my "other" mail folder on FB. It was from the OM wife. She just barely found out about their affair in July. She was told by her husband that it was only an online emotional affair, but she later found proof that it had turned physical. She wanted to know if I knew if they were still seeing each other. I messaged her back and told her that they indeed were still seeing each other.

I now know everything about him. Where he lives, where he works, his wife's name and I've seen pictures of their kids. My WW has told me a lot more about their relationship now that I have discovered as much as I have. She's told me how he lights up her soul. How he's quiet and conservative, which I'm not. How the kids think he's wonderful and have expressed interest in him being their step father... It's too much for me.

She tells me his marriage has been in turmoil for years and they have been in MC. She is waiting to see what happens with his marriage. She wants to be with him. She sees him as her future.

I've become very active in my church again and have spoken with my religious leader on numerous occasions. I'm trying to find strength there. I'm just so tired.


BD Oct 2014
S Dec 2014
D filed Feb 20, 2015
D on hold as money ran out for attorneys and the marital home's future is up in the air

D18
S17
S15
S13
S11
S8
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Prowl, this is actually good news! Now their A is out and both their spouses know about it! I would friend request his W and then keep her posted, if your WW leaves the house for him, let her know and do the same! Like all affairs, this too will fizzle out quickly. Wayward spouses have a fantasy in their head of how great their "new" relationship will be. In the end, it never works out that way.


Me: 38
W: 32
S10 D6
T: 10 (02/2004)
M: 7 (12/2007)
Separation 02/2015
OM confirmed 01/2015,
D mentioned 12/2014
D finalized 9/2016
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 239
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 239
You around Prowl? How are things going, buddy?


Me: 38
W: 32
S10 D6
T: 10 (02/2004)
M: 7 (12/2007)
Separation 02/2015
OM confirmed 01/2015,
D mentioned 12/2014
D finalized 9/2016
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 64
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Yea still around... My WW is moving out of our home this weekend and I am moving in. She's found a nice home for rent down the street from where our home is so I'll be close to my children. Her affair is still going strong and she actually told me that she got her own place so that I can't complain about her bringing "him" into our home.

From what she's told me OM is leaving his wife soon and just making preparations to do so. She's given me the option to buy her out sof our home for only 20K, which I should easily be able to do by next year at this time. She's also only taking 30% of my retirement now. I think it's because she knows her new life with him is going to be nice and I think she may feel bad for taking so much and leaving me broke...

I just wish she would chose me 😞


BD Oct 2014
S Dec 2014
D filed Feb 20, 2015
D on hold as money ran out for attorneys and the marital home's future is up in the air

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S15
S13
S11
S8
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Posts: 8,855
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I am glad you are still posting, I thought about you.


What does your L say about all these offers?

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 08/27/15 12:21 AM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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It's been a while but I thought I would give everyone an update.

So much has happened and although I would love to go into details, I would be writing for hours and hours.

To summarize I was placed on leave from work because I was such a mess. In that time I got on a high does of Anti-depressants and I moved into a brand new townhouse that I love. I am 95% better and actually ready to move on with my life. She's still been seeing her OM but he refuses to leave his wife and I think my WW is sick of the games. Regardless I am ready to get papers signed and move on with my life.

I have started dating and met some incredible women. I see hoe many wonderful qualities these women have that my WW didn't. I've started seeing one of these women regularly and we've become pretty inseparable.

My kids love my new place and I'm right next to their school. My 17, 13 & 12 yr old sons want to come live with me full time. I'm still trying to figure out a way to make that work.

I'm working out, laughing, smiling, cleaning... Just getting back to the old me.

I'm so appreciative to everyone on here and their advice and love. I will keep updates coming in but I just wanted to let everyone know I am doing great and that light at the end of the tunnel is huge. There is life after an A and divorce.


BD Oct 2014
S Dec 2014
D filed Feb 20, 2015
D on hold as money ran out for attorneys and the marital home's future is up in the air

D18
S17
S15
S13
S11
S8
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