as_it_is - my adventure continues (part 2)

[ep0215]

I would love a pot

[Fogg]

There is going to be a coffee fetish on this forum that will confuse LBS's in the future. I can see it now, some poor soul searching through the archives trying to save their marriage and all they see is coffee this, coffee that. I have no objections, just find it amusing

Twice you say? Interesting.

Yeah, a pot would be nice. However, as angry as I was yesterday at myself I might have smacked the cup out of a hand if offered. Not really thought.

[asitis]

There is going to be a coffee fetish on this forum that will confuse LBS's in the future. I can see it now, some poor soul searching through the archives trying to save their marriage and all they see is coffee this, coffee that. I have no objections, just find it amusing

Twice you say? Interesting.

Yeah, a pot would be nice. However, as angry as I was yesterday at myself I might have smacked the cup out of a hand if offered. Not really thought.

Maybe decaf for you right now?

[gonegrl]

Caffeine withdrawal is the worst.

[PigPen]

8 months here with no make up coffee. It would be the fastest cup I've ever drank.

Cheers.

PP

[gonegrl]

Pigpen, I just literally laughed out loud.

[Zephyr]

Hi AS, saw something on another thread you posted...

"She has been in IC this whole time, & I know that her IC would be warning her off any R. She has also expressed that she needs to find herself and just wants to be alone for now. I know we can't trust their words, but this is done w/ sincerity (she's never been a liar & wouldn't be god at it) and fits with all the other evidence."

Whatever crisis your wife is going through right now, this may be the most telling, honest thing she can possibly say to you. She is begging you for space whether she says it or tells IC or whatever. Just because this may not make sense to us, doesn't mean it is not your wifes reality right now. No matter what else may be going on...that space and non pressure needs to happen.

I read it every day. I lived it for years. I wanted to help her, pour my affecton out to her, love her, sex her up...all of it. She could not.stand me and I could not figure it out. If I had one thing to do differently after I found out she was unhappy... Etc, I wish I would have figured out how to back off sooner.

Then super husband routine...didn't work. The emotional Casanova... Didn't work. None of it but space and compassion.

Sorry for the derail...I just wanted to drop that note off to you. Maybe you've already figured that out and I missed that part...seems like you have a pretty good grasp on all of this from what I read on your posts to others...so thank you for posting.

[asitis]

Thanks Z. And, this is the path we are on. Lot's of space. Just friendly space w/ me taking care of my end of the practical matters, parenting, doing some things that will likely draw her interest in time, and patience.

I know what she feels and says is real to her right now. I know that there are even kernels of truth in the spew I get at times. And, I know (partly from training, and partly from direct experience) that empathetic listening, validation, mirroring, all help her w/ her healing (as well as my own). No matter what else, I do love the woman, and I hate to see her hurting. So, as hard as it is, I want to give her this space. It is my way of loving her right now.

Thanks for the reminder.

[asitis]

I wish I had some coffee to spit PP at that one.

And glad to have you all along on our Friday evening GAL by being on here rather than out doing who knows what with people we can see & here. Seriously, it is good to turn here with all your good, and silly folk.

[asitis]

OK, we're about to hit 100 posts, so I'm starting a new thread.

as_it_is - my adventure continues (part 3)