Wonka, I think we all would like to be flies on that wall!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
A suite would be very very nice. BUT think long and hard on this offer, and how it will affect YOU.
Can you handle being in a suite with H and the feelings it might bring up in you.
If you can handle it, then go for it and see how it plays out. You are still in the same house, but I think separate rooms? But I know for me vacations bring out something else, I'm relax and IF my man would be there, I would want it to be all about LOVE.
I'm hoping my H chooses to go on our cruise next year, but also hoping by then things will be better or totally over (of course then I would not want him to go) But the way things are today, I would not want my H to join us, too much stress, too many feelings etc.
I actually invited by H again today, only because my friends H has now decided to go and I did not want H to hear about that from someone else...
AND make sure you have back up plans in case your H, decides at last minute to not go, don't want you and and son to then miss out.
I will be staying tuned to see what you decide, but please put on your BIG girl panties either way.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Ask him to check if they have any fold out cots like in hotels, as you wouldn't want him to have to sleep on the floor just to save some money.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Lol. Thank you all for your advice and comments! I am still wrapping my head around this, totally came out of left field....however, it changes nothing for me. I have no expectations and plan on spending this cruise with S doing our own thing as planned. He can hang with us or do his own thing, I am fine either way. I will NOT let him put any kind of damper on our trip, I feel strong enough and detached enough to do that.
Thank goodness, the suite plan did not work out. I was not feeling that idea really. I mean, we have been separated for 2 years, H has been moved out of the house for 5 months, and we would all of a sudden be sharing a room for 4 nights? Did not sound like a good idea and was quite surprised he was pushing that! I felt the need to have an escape if needed. I did not say any of that to H, I let it play itself out and glad I did, I had the feeling it would. He got a room on the deck above us.
I told S, and being the sweetheart he is, he is worried daddy will be lonely in his room alone. I assured him we will spend time together and that he can spend as much time with daddy as he wants. Clubbing and dancing anyone??? Lol
It's been an interesting day. I am hoping for fun, relaxation and some serious friendship building between H and I on this trip. It is still sinking in with me.....
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
M4 - I am just getting caught up on back posts and can relate some of the issues you are faced with - mostly the "mom" -- "child" issue. It is interesting to watch how they seek your approval and don't want things to change.
Enjoy your cruise, just remember he will be bringing his MLC on vacation with you. Seems like 2 rooms are a better answer for everyone.
H: 48 Me: 47 Married: 19 yrs T: 20 yrs 2 teen-Ds and S H-MLC (started 2012) and H-Unemployed (11/2014) D-Bomb: 2/2015 H left country but hasn't moved out: 7/2015 I filed: 7/2015
I'm glad things worked out for you and he's now going to have his own space. It will be interesting to see how his MLC plays out on the ship. No matter what transpires, I do hope that you and your son enjoy your time away.
BTW, you need to start a new thread. This one will lock soon.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
