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Joined: Sep 2014
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jim0987 Offline OP
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Hi Sotto.

To be honest I haven't felt much like posting about my situation.

XW and OM1 are living together now. Far as I can tell her place when they have the kids, his London apartment when they don't. This is via D4 (she's a chatterbox) and things I noticed (residents parking permit on her car).

Shes not said a word but it might explain why she seems more agitated with me at handover - but who knows what goes on in there.

They both earn good money and have a few weekends away planned (I've been asked to adjust childcare). so all in all it sounds pretty good for them. There has definitly been parent meetings as well so they are both pretty serious.

OM gets on well with the kids and they seem to like him, which is good. Hurts to hear them talk about him but its better he's good with them than a complete ######.

I'm thinking of asking to meet OM just so my first encounter is away from the kids, plus I'd like to know something about the guy who lives with them 50% of their life.

So it seems that they are happy and have taken it relatively slow. She pursued him for a while before he committed but now he has, so he knew what he was getting in to.

The otherside is my XW was miserable for years and blames me (and I have my fair share of blame to own). In fact she pretty much hated me for 4 out of 6 years so there was never really a marriage to save except on paper.

In short its time for me to wish them well and move on. (Not the first time I've said that but its my goal these days)

I still have some unresolved issues I'm working through with my IC (including jealousy on things XW does now but wouldn't with me - like going away for a weekend) but that's for me to be at peace with it all and minimise my baggage.

On the more immediate me side, well social GAL is mixed, but im getting there. Im trying to procrastinate less about domestic projects when I don't have social plans. Getting a new bike has been a really good decision as well.

I dipped a couple of toes in on the dating front but I found myself making comparisons with XW so not hugely healthy from anyones perspective. I'd like the company but it feels less of an issue than it did.

Anyway, thanks for checking in.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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Hi Jim,

You sound like you're in a fairly good, if not a bit sad, kind of place. Way to go on the bike!

Time heals all. Think how far you've already come.

Wishing you happiness today, and every day forward.


Mid 30's
Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH
D 9/15; NC forever on

You can't DR your way out of abuse.



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Hi Jim. As always sounding level Which is a complement. Your handling OM far more maturely than I ever could and I admire you for that. I suppose it's a blessing your little ones are so young because this will be normal to them

Re OM and W. It's always looks good looking in from the outside and maybe it is but I wouldn't spend too much time giving it headspace

Dating is always going to be tricky and maybe you wouldnt compare Miss Right to W Just saying

Your a very young man Jim and have a long life ahead What you make of it boils down to you. I see your a clever guy from your posts so give yourself time to see what Jim wants to do with his life

Get an engine in that bike and then we will talk !!!!

Take care mate. Stay strong. Rd

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Please start a new thread


Me-70, D37,S36
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