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Joined: Apr 2015
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Thanks Smothy smile You are a sweetheart.

i'm flat, numb. nothing to say. nothing to ask.

just going through the motions.
I think i am just tired, over it. i have been going at this at a million miles an hour. i feel like i am at the end.

i was frantic holding the rope like i was falling off a bridge, or into a canyon. In the beginning my W was holding the other end of the rope and i saw BD as the first cut into the rope and the first few months as the rope fraying further because of the cut.

Then I realised that she wasn't holding the rope at all. The rope was tied onto a branch or rock or girder. But it was still fraying. I realised that I HAD needed her to hold on to the rope. But she doesn't need or want that.

Time will heal you in the sense that the rope will eventually fray all the way through regardless. But I let go. I am/was falling towards the ground in slow motion. numb. in free fall. sometimes I feel like I have hit the ground, or a less gruesome picture is that I was standing and held a rope, dropping it to the ground and it fell in slow motion.

The rope hit the ground, and now i am staring at it. The still picture IS/MAY still be in slow motion. Regardless, it is unchanging. I am just waiting for something to happen. My life to start again.

make sense?


there have been significant logistical things going on, and emotionally these should be more of a big deal than I am feeling. i will post about this later. maybe even start a new thread.

Last edited by Pyrite; 05/28/15 02:42 AM.

M: 6 T: 12
Kids: 2,4
BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015
EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
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the plus to letting go is that it is a choice. you hit the ground on your terms. not screaming in fear.


M: 6 T: 12
Kids: 2,4
BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015
EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
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When I die, I want to go like my grandfather- peacefully in my sleep.

Not screaming like the passengers in the car...


Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Joined: Feb 2015
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((( Pyrite)))

I am deliberately, occupying myself by organising my trip to India. Stops my mind from wandering. After 20 years if M it has come to this :-(

Anniversary day today. Could of been so different.

I would like to response to your post later, if OK


Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18
EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13
Move to work abroad Sept 14
re establish contact with OW while away
D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15

Joined: Feb 2015
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Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18
EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13
Move to work abroad Sept 14
re establish contact with OW while away
D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15

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