Wii & Bets: thank you for your kind words. Just what I needed to hear. I actually surprised myself by not going off on her about BF. Yet my dads wise words (from years ago) rang in my ears "the more you try to convince her he is wrong for her - the more she will run to him". Those words were said about my sister 36 years ago but they still ring true today.
Ashley is a very intelligent girl but, like myself, we are fixers. We want to help people who are struggling. I remember my own life - years of craziness with Chuck & I would not wish it on anyone. But she is young and she is a bit lonely here so she looks at all the good things they had not the 2 bad weeks.
Biting my tongue is not a habit of mine. But in this case it helped. I just don't want her to run from me.
I have learned something this week by trying a new technique.
And yes - Chuck is a real Dick. And he will never get better. At least I doubt it. He inflicts bad feelings on others. What a way to live.
Josh on the other hand has really stepped up. He is helping Ashley with her "stuff" when he can. Not with advice but with practical stuff or just being there like taking us to lunch last week.
He has been watching me struggle with all the contractor woes as we approach summer and knows that $ is a bit of an issue & it has brought my mood down.
So yesterday he asked me if I would like my Birthday gift this weekend. Say what? My birthday is not til January. But he said he would like me to start using it now. So he is buying me a Paddle Board!!! I've wanted one for a long time but paying for the Reno sucked up that $. So he is buying his & hers. And the one I wanted even. I'm beyond excited!
So, things are looking up. And... After 5 months of sleepless nights agonizing over the Reno stuff - I've decided to use the stop sign technique when my thoughts go there in the night & im finally falling back to sleep. I deal with it in the day.
I rarely go out at night since it means asking a worker to stay late. But I wanted to see a movie with Ashley so I asked the agency on Fri for 90 extra minutes last night. I had not heard back by yesterday morning & had accidentally left myself purse & cel phone in Ashley's car. So I went in to ask the worker - that one who freaked out on my on New Years Wve if you recall. She responded with "yes - I will do it but I will quit over it"! So I notified the agency. She should have been fired 4 nasty conversations ago but due to a staff shortage - we've still got her. And when she is good - she's the best but I can't stand the Yo-Yoing. I did get an apology but by then I was enroute to the ER to have my tibia xrayed as I took a very bad fall on my Paddleboard. Thankfully - it's just a bad contusion. Still...
So I had sent a very detailed email to my contractor who I had not heard from. No finish work, no door, no cleanup - still $15,000 over budget & barely over half finished Ryan's reno. I noticed an overcharge so I CCd it to his wife, a friend of mine - because she does the invoicing. He phoned me - the door was in - he would come to install it this week & got $100 knocked off the price (I'm guessing it was his "up charge" but who knows. Anyway...
In the afternoon his wife emailed me with a list of invoice amounts. I had found his original quote saying he would cut his wage from $50 an hour to $45 yet I had seen an invoice where I was charged $45. I got back from her -"yes - I will adjust the $50 to $45 but I see invoices where he only charged you$40 - shall I also up charge them to $45?- we are good and honest people just trying to help you out"
I nearly flipped. I have spent 50Gs on a $35G project & still have app 30G to go. Talk about a slap in the face!
I replied short & business like tha I appreciate all the help I can get as my issue is with how far over quote the project has been. Thanks
But I am burnt!
so I went out for dinner & movie with Ashley, who informed me she & BF are giving it another shot though both have stopped drinking. I want to smack her upside of the head & say "what are you thinking" ? But I just reminded her the signs to watch for. And told her I'm sure it was not easy to tell me. And thati was not ok with BF being at my house next week when she is looking after Ryan at night. And the movie, "Aloha" pretty much sucked.
But it was a beautiful pink sky sunset as she drive me home in her new jeep & we came through the rock cut. Stellar!
Oh - also- the book keeper changed my appt . Again! Now I have to finish up my year end on Friday enroute to my vacation away. This just adds to my stress!
A new day. The lake is perfectly still & the air is a bit warmer. I'd love to go out on my Paddleboard again. But the dr told me to avoid further injury for another week or 2. Sigh...
Barb, I'm sorry to read that you were injured while out paddle boarding. Listen to your doctor and you'll be back out there in a couple of weeks. Summer is just around the corner and you'll have plenty of time to get out there and enjoy yourself.
I'm sorry to hear that Ashley has opted to try again w/her BF. I hope that things work out for them, but if he goes back to drinking and doing drugs, it will be a hard lesson for her, but at least she will know that she made an attempt to try one more time. I understand how you feel and unfortunately, she's not going to listen to you or anyone else right now. Like all young people, they have to live and learn, sometimes the hard way. I hope and pray that there will not be too much damage along the way for her.
As for your contractor, gosh! He's expensive! That's so crazy. I'm sure you've gone over the invoices w/a fine tooth comb, but something isn't adding up here. Double check the numbers again. How can someone go over budget that much?
Barb, you've got a lot going on, please listen to your doctor and take it easy. I worry about you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Today was a little better. I avoided the care worker who is leaving in a few minutes. She is not back this week.
I wanted to get out on the water - so I took the Seadoo out and there was nothing like it for stress relief! Always love that feeling!
This morning I got a new renter for one of the cottages. She was so nice to work with. Didn't haggle. Has twin daughters attending Brian Orser's Skating Camp. Booked a 2 bedroom and sent the deposit. She also passed the info on to a friend attending the following week. The extra $ helps.
And I called the electrician. I had wanted in floor radiant heat in the addition but my contractor insisted it would be too expensive. My electrician didn't think so. So we will see. Its not too late. I think it will be more effective. He also viewed the project and thinks the contractor is out of whack.
I am heading to the U S for 8 days. First to Philly for Josh's nephew's concert then to Florida for a few days at my condo. I am least stressed at my condo. That's good.
And tomorrow after a meeting I'm having lunch with a friend. That helps too.
So does writing here. Spending more time with Ashley. She is saving $ by giving up beer. She is less moody I've noticed. She is also attending more bank stuff. Big employee dinner tomm night. She serves breakfast at the school every other week too. This is so good for her. Opens her up to many more people and situations.
I hope tomm is calm. I'm worried a bit since our new trainee with Ryan didn't come to work today and she is scheduled Fri and Sat. I hope I find out tomm that its all good.
