The dark clouds of depression are looming overhead. I am scared, feeling overwhelmed and lonely and alone. Triggered today and the sadness is washing over so slowly, I wish it would pass far quicker. Attempting to remain mindful and not get caught in its clutches, it is just an emotion, just like a wave, it will it the sand and become nothing and balance and calm will return. Patience is all that is required.
Let the rain clouds come, create a haven for yourself. Go read, post, put your records on, sit and journal.
There is enormous secret that I found out, this is your subconscious mind sorting itself, retiring adjusting to the new. It brings great change and will unstick you.
As long as you face the pain and work with it, this is a period of enormous change, much is unfamiliar. The work you have done has stirred the memories, your mind is cleansing and you are growing and developing. I sense it and read it.
It is going to be unfamiliar to your conscious mind and hence you sense an overwhelm, what is happening is your spirit is finding its voice. Sweet sadness is becoming and she feels afraid. Tell her it's going to be ok, you love and care for her, that this growth and openness is the anthesis of lonely. I believe this and find this is an advanced step in the twelve step program, it is the step before atonement, a step of great healing when all of the work is coming together. A step where the great gifts are open to flow, when the spirit releases and becomes ready to act and move forward.
Thoughts are just that, they are not real, they do not have to be believed. Much of it is the critics naysaying wanting the comfort zone. Big changes are here, let the magic begin, you are ready I think so. --------------------------------------------------- Here is Plain Vanillas letter to Sweet Sadness.
Dear brave sweet sadness,
I can see you are afraid and think you are lonely and isolated. This is causing you to be worried and create feelings of concern.
I know this and thank you for telling Jellyb in your own special way about your concerns. Jelly needs you in her life, she is blessed for having you, you are one of her greatest advisers. You warn her that there is more work to do. I do this all the time for V, it is one of my important roles for her.
Jelly takes great care to listen to your guidance. Rest easy the work that Jelly is doing is to grow, to be open to heal, so there is sunlight and peace not rainstorms and clouds.
She loves you very much and as a result is working her pain and yours to be open to love from all sources. She is beginning to love herself so there need never be loneliness again. Being alone is not being lonely, dear sweetness whilst you and Jelly are healing and loving each other you may be alone but you are alone together.
Rest easy, it will be ok.
Love
Plain Vanilla --------------------------------- Much love and peace today
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 08/16/1510:03 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Jelly I am sending a hug your way and hoping these feelings pass. Are weekends a trigger for you?
As I believe it is monday morning there, does the busy work day redirect these feelings?
I have dreaded weekends too because of potential interaction with WW and downtime to dwell on things. I have chosen to change these things - no interaction and no downtime.
Is winter leaving yet so you can get on that bike?
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Oh and what V said up there ^^^^^^^ that's wonderful. (I wish I could speak, write, think like that)
Take care Jelly
Your friend U-turn (I'm going to try to get this without looking back for it - Kia Kaha - did I get it?)
Last edited by u-turn; 08/17/1504:13 AM.
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
Jelly...for once I'm at a loss for words, I never know what to say. Just had to bump this and let you know I'm thinking of you and what you're experiencing. Hope to hear from you.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
I know when I have taken time away from here I have found myself either too busy to keep up or have had feelings of - I am just writing to write and it is of no help.
Well - I hope it is more the former and less the latter. Please let us know how you are doing when you get a chance. I almost always find that it does help to write and get those virtual hugs from the other side of the world.
peace&love to you.
Last edited by u-turn; 08/24/1501:50 AM.
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
