Hi Cherry, sounds like you are generally doing well, and getting to grips with what DBing involves. You certainly sound more confident that a few weeks ago. That's one of the joys of DBing - it does give you back some control and self-respect in a horrible situation.
I think in terms of your last line. It's great for you to re-find your own attractiveness after having a baby. Good to reclaim and celebrate that part of yourself. Of course, H will notice, and it's good that you are a 'woman' as well as 'mommy.' But I would not make re-attracting him central to that process, do it because it's good for you. And it builds your own self-esteem and confidence.
And in terms of H, you may want to show a bit of sassiness and confidence...a bit more of the 'old' you.
It's just a thought - but I know that parenting for the first time can be a challenging time in M's. Some men worry about the new responsibility and are they ready. And then there's a big shift in dynamic due to the arrival of baby. And suddenly Dad isn't the centre of W's world any more...
I just wondered whether you had done some reading/thinking about this area at all??
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Had to message him regarding baby.. Wished him luck with a meeting he had to. I thought I may have got a response but I didnt. Shan't read into things. I just hope he doesn't see it as pursuing behaviour
It was pursuing if the call was something that simply could not wait until he got off work or returned home (whatever the case). LBS use their kids as an excuse to contact the WAS. If it couldn't keep, then don't worry about it.
However, I will say this.....if it were my cheating H, then it would have to almost be to the point of being urgent before I called. But that's just me.
Quote:
I do think if we spent more time together I could win him round. It's hard not seeing him often but I guess the time I do see him I need him to see I am that everything he wants and more!
That is what you want b/c he is the WAS. You have to be real careful you don't let your emotions turn you into a clingy W. Be smoking hot and walk around with a spicy attitude of "don't you wish you had some of this"! You know you look good and you are a classy lady. Remember, let him chase you till you catch him.
Last edited by sandi2; 04/02/1508:19 PM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
