RAI-- Just re-read your whole sitch. In an ironic way, it's almost funny how much I can sympathize with you. Obviously, we are very different people, but I felt your NMMNG summation was very similar to mine (for the most part). I don't think it's really applicable to me personally. Yes, I'm the least confident I can ever remember right now, but it's getting better.
Mozza's posts were amazing IMHO. (Thank You Mozza). I had never really considered my own narcistic traits. But, that is one more thing I need to work on.
I can tell you've come so far in your journey. I too waffle between wanting to save the M or just get it over with. It's so hard to not be in control of others, for me anyway. As each day passes DBing makes much more sense. Really wish I had recognized the problems in the M prior to BD, and would have mentally prepared myself for the excruciating process.
As a physician, you are always expected to be confident, keep your cool and temper your emotions and rely on your training and wit. Doesn't it seem that is who you really are? It's amazing in this time of crisis we travel so far from who WE are. Everyone on this board refers to the "fog" of the WAW in an A, but I've never really seen the "fog" of the LBS. Maybe that's the whole point of DBing. To get out of your own "fog". Sorry, I have a problem with rambling. Really wish I had your ability to maintain brevity and conciseness with your words. STFUing around the W has been easier lately, though. Doesn't seem like you have that problem.
You seem like such a good guy, despite not really being a "nice guy". I can definitely relate to always thinking of myself as the perfect son. You will get through this mess happier than you've ever been (yeah... it's easy to say, much harder to realize). So many excellent posts in this thread... will re-read.
M: 8 years, together 9 M: 41 W: 32 D 4, S 6 ILYBINILWY 2/10/15 2/14/15-2/22/15 Left home 4/5/15 Suspect A, Initiated Sandi's advice from WW thread 4/19/15 W asked for D
Also, I just read the entire Onguard thread. What an amazing read. Thank you so much for recommending it. Such great advice from Starsky and MLC.
M: 8 years, together 9 M: 41 W: 32 D 4, S 6 ILYBINILWY 2/10/15 2/14/15-2/22/15 Left home 4/5/15 Suspect A, Initiated Sandi's advice from WW thread 4/19/15 W asked for D
