Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 2 1 2
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 9
J
Joshua3 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 9
Thank you for the responses. Steve85 you are completely correct, I am guilty of NGS 100%. I really don’t know why I resorted to begging again, maybe it’s easier then detaching? And the fear of loosing my marriage. But in response to ovtrnbw, what actually worked was when I really truly stopped caring about her and when I didn’t want to R anymore. Returning calls the next day, she’d invite me somewhere and I wouldn’t show, just really being an a-hole. I feel like she is the type of person who wants what she can’t have. Deep down inside I am aware that I need to get to that point again for 2 reasons. First and most importantly for my own sanity, and second, if I want any chance at this, it’s the only way. I do need an opinion about what are my duties vs NGS. Example, there is a broken window (that I temporarily fixed with plexiglass and tape a while ago). She told me to fix it. Since she is staying in the house (I’m the one leaving), I told her that it was her problem to get it fixed. She said that I’m being a a-hole for not helping and threw a glass of water on me. Also her car has an issue that needs fixed (it’s driveable just check engine light on). This are both things that I enjoy doing (construction and mechanic work) and wouldn’t cost me any effort at all. Am I wrong for not doing these things? I want her to see how life really would be without me since that is what she wants. But she takes it as me being an a-hole (her words). So what would you do in my shoes? Thank you all for the support 😊

Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 1,792
Likes: 1
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 1,792
Likes: 1
No... no... no... nope!

If she wants a life without you then that is what she should get. Quit rescuing her. She needs to "man" up so to speak.

If the car is drivable then she can drive it right to the mechanic!

Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 9
J
Joshua3 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 9
Yes you are correct, that is what I needed to hear. I will just cut her completely off then. Yesterday morning was the last communication we had, she was saying she hated me and wants me out of her life ASAP. I replied “It would be best if we don’t talk anymore. If you change your mind one day just contact me, otherwise I don’t have anything to talk to you about” and that was it. Was that a bad response? I was frustrated from the arguing in the moment.

Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 9
J
Joshua3 Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
J
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 9
Also when I came home today I noticed the window was replaced, it’s installed crooked but it’s new lol. I guess her mom lent her money to replace it? She’s probably expecting me to react?

Joined: May 2018
Posts: 2,681
Likes: 2
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 2,681
Likes: 2
I wouldn't even bring up the window. If she does, then say "great".

I'm at a similar point as you. Unless the W is actually on board with the MR, the small talk isn't always useful if the WAS is being rude and trying to start fights.


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Page 2 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard