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Originally Posted By: Calibri

But I took a step back and thought, "well, what the hell is that going to accomplish?" It doesn't bring the house back. My H wouldn't have the conversation and go, "I'm magically fixed I'm coming home!" I thought about it some more (applying my 180 here, STFU and think before you react). And I realized, I'm so quick to express my anger, that in the past I very rarely processed past the anger. I didn't probe the hurt hidden within the anger, I was too busy expressing it. I think I've really deprived myself of some life lessons by not STFU and thinking and digging about why I was angry.

In the end, I'm choosing to think about it. Dig deeper into why I'm angry about the situation right now. Here's a guess, it goes deeper than being upset about giving up a dream.

C, you sound so much more mature and thoughtful than when you first started posting. I can actually see the 180 of "instead of expressing things immediately that anger you, but actually processing them" being worked. You're actually doing it now, by choosing to think things over for a few days before responding to replies on here. I think this revelation (in bold) you had is a huge step. Im very interested in what you come up with. Because you are right, I agree that there seems to be more than giving up a dream.

Last edited by TLEE86; 01/16/15 06:03 AM.

ME: 28
W: 24
M: 2.5yrs
T: 5yrs
BD: 22 SEP 14
W Leaves: 5 OCT 14
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,077
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Calibri, I agree with TLE!!

Plus, I'm realizing that I rarely processed past the anger to see the hurt and disappointment at the root of it all. Our similarities are endless, really.

I think I am angry about being left. It hurts and is the ultimate rejection. It's hard to come to terms with that... Behind all the anger of it all.

You're doing amazingly well.


M: 37 H: 36
M: 13 T: 18
D: 7
Bomb: 6/30/14
Separation: 8/11/14

Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.
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