Maybell XXV: Moving Toward the Lighthouse

[Faith2b]

Also the comment "He doesnt deserve my pain"


No he doesnt pain is a natural thing its yours alone. Pain can be beautiful it forces you to grow. It forces you to except that their is something missing. Its only tragic to have pain if we miss the message it is trying to give us. We all have choices. To GAL will be to take the good and the bad and become one with where you go!! The pain will only last for a while. The maturity gained from your struggle will be lasting. This jorney will be worth it pain and all dont forget that!! Strive for the answer its there!

[Maybell]

The thing I'm angriest about is that except the kids, it's all HIS life choices (moves, frequent job changes, not spending time together, how he handled the MBA) that put the most stress on our relationship. And then he decides HE's overwhelmed and dissatisfied and walks away leaving ME with the worst of the consequences.

I am better off alone. He was never a real partner to me.

[Maybell]

Faith, I've been growing and growing and growing for years. I'm tired of growing. I just want to flower. Or hibernate for a bit.

[Calibri]

Maybell,

I think you are flowering. It may not seem like it -- but you're blossoming right before our (and your) eyes.

Today is tough (I'm having a tough day as well). You're tougher.

Hugs to you and wishes for a peaceful evening.

[T384]

Hugs Maybell. I may not comment because you are usually more insightful and already receive great advice but know that your H is a fool. He may never figure that out

Remember, we may not choose the obstacles that are placed in our path but we do choose how to conquer them

Happy New Year!

[Faith2b]

I can totally relate abut job changing and constantly moving. I understand being drained and tired. But we have to make a choice to break away and take care of ourselves everything depends on it. Their is two people in a relationship yes. But it only takes one to truly take care of their selves even if that means asking yourself daily how can I GAL for me today. Its like brushing your teeth daily you have to do this. Taking care of you must be the first waking question...What does Maybell need to make this day be as peaceful as possible for myself and then that will be the light that the kids and the hubby can find save haven in.

[Faith2b]

You have to fight to choose yourself you cant get tired when you think this way. The first step is GAL and it makes more sense to me now. This whole thing that is just a horrible stage in our lives dont forget is only temporary. Remember though the tired times can be resolved think of you and how you can restore peace within through prayer yoga exercise. We can never be tired of saving our own selves first even before we save the marriage. How can we even save a marriage when we cant save ourselves just think about it we can do this!!!!

[Maybell]

I GALed like crazy for years before he left. I have been GALing like crazy the last year. I have a new full time job after having been a SAHM for 12 years. I am just getting through the holidays. I am physically TIRED because I don't get enough sleep or exercise since I went back to work (I ran a half marathon a year ago, for pete's sake!) and I wobbled because I hit a roadblock in a weird place. I woke up today in a happy mood and I will be happy again before I go to bed. I have a wonderful weekend planned with my kids.

I won't be saving this marriage. I have done everything I can do. His attention is elsewhere. I will be working towards taking care of myself. But the work that needs to be done to make that happen is very large and I'm ANGRY that it needs to be done because I wanted to RENT and he insisted we BUY and he started the affair before we even closed on the house and now I'm going to have to pack and move because of his selfish choices and cowardice.

Faith, I appreciate your support. I have been at this a LONG time. Sometimes I wobble. It's a dip on the way to the next high.