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#2510729 11/25/14 03:37 AM
Joined: Nov 2014
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LostFil Offline OP
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First, let me say that this is a great forum. I've been reading it for a week or so along with the DBing book. I am GAL and working on detachment. So difficult.

My wife and I have been married for 3 1/2 years, together 4. She's from the Philippines. We met there through a fellow Rotarian while I was visiting. Like all marriages, it was rocky at times, but we also had some great times. This year, though, was particularly tough. I was stupid and was texting a lady I met on a relief trip to Nicaragua - LDEA without the love, just games. My w was devastated. It took time, but I thought she had forgiven me. This summer she admitted to two one-time affairs with a coworker and a mutual "friend." I forgave her. We also had external problems - health and such with my family.

She planned a visit to her family in the Phils starting in November (first time she has seen them in four years). She started to be off and on about two weeks before she left - warm and cold, withdrawing. I pursued and, now I realize, pushed her away with my begging and pleading for things to be normal.

She flew out on Nov. 3. A very close relative died on Nov. 8. That same evening she texted me and told me that the marriage was over,she was saying good bye, I was selfish, she needed time to fix herself, I could have the money and car etc, and that I could even cancel her greencard. Then, she went dark.

No word for over two weeks now. Following DB advice and veteran advice I haven't persued.

There are more details and I have questions for you all, but I wanted to keep my first post from going too long.


ME 40 / W 31
M 3 ½ / T 4 ½
W fluctuated between Present, Loving and GW 10/14
W returned to Phils for planned family visit 11/3/14
WAW WENT DARK 11/8/14
LostFil #2511057 11/26/14 04:09 AM
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LostFil Offline OP
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I hate to see so many other people suffering through the same thing, but I'm glad to know I'm not crazy.


ME 40 / W 31
M 3 ½ / T 4 ½
W fluctuated between Present, Loving and GW 10/14
W returned to Phils for planned family visit 11/3/14
WAW WENT DARK 11/8/14

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