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Ahoy #2513122 12/03/14 03:41 AM
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Maybell Offline OP
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You know... Last night I cried for my marriage, for my H, for my kids. It was the first time I've really cried in quite a while.

I feel sad right now, but I'm also watching myself to see what else. Anger? Yes. But it doesn't feel like BD. I did kind of assume he had done that. Also it's a little bit brutal to keep getting f'ing screenshots of his betrayals. I'm sick of it and I feel like I'll never be able to trust him again.

I'm thinking maybe I'm done? Ish? He's not a person I want to respect or rely on. Going on Tinder at all is gross. I wouldn't be attracted to someone who did that even if we were both totally free. (And yes, I realize what's going on with the friend who discovered my H. That's its own story and I don't have to worry too deeply about that).

What a STUPID thing to do.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Maybell #2513129 12/03/14 03:59 AM
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Maybell,

I'm sorry you're in this place... sort of. You know my theory about feeling the chaos. It's either hormonal, or it means you are getting ready to take another step forward. Remember this is not a linear process. Let yourself sit with your feelings for a bit without making any major decisions about the future.

I know I'm not very articulate tonight... lots going on. And torturing myself by watching a new show about divorce. But thinking of you.


Me 38 H 40
D 3
T 8 M 6
BD 10/2013

claire7 #2513193 12/03/14 12:37 PM
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Realizing the person he's become and the values that he has (that you don't share) will help you move on, emotionally and legally, when the time comes when you feel ready. Be glad. If he were perfect, then you'd really be missing him, wishing you had him back, etc. He's making it easy for you to say good-bye if that's what you decide.


M: 43 H: 39
D: 14
Married 15 Together 16
BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!
Ahoy #2513273 12/03/14 04:40 PM
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So sorry that you find yourself in this place. I second what one of the comments above said about taking the money you would've spent on HIS Christmas present and pampering yourself with it. Don't worry about him...just worry about you.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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