The tone of his emails suggests, to me, that even though he has sadness about the outcome of our relationship, he isn't willing or able to take a step towards me. His own parents got divorced when he was about 3 or 4, so it was all he knew, and he has said that, since his parents got along cordially, it was kind of no big deal for him. (I think he has some unresolved issues in that area, but if he is not ready to face them, then so be it).
25years gave her M a 10% chance of survival. I give mine 1% or less.
If he was showing anger, or acting crazy, I might give it a better chance because that shows there is a lot of unresolved stuff. But my H seems calm, friendly, detached.
I've also been thinking a lot about our interactions in the last few days. I opened up a lot about my role in our downfall. He thanked me for that, told me he's happy that I am happier now... and yet still has not been able to really acknowledge his side of things. I played a big role, yes... but so did he.
And I've been thinking that this man who cannot--after a full year, after I have opened up about my responsibility, acknowledge any of the ways he specifically pushed me away or contributed to the failure of our marriage--is certainly not the right man for me. Not now anyways.
Part of me--the vindictive part-- wants him to get into a new R because I think that's the only way he'll learn that what he thought was so horrible was actually just LIFE. And that if he hasn't changed the same old Sh!t will come up for him again.
I don't think he's capable of doing that work. I think he believes that you either pick the right person for you or the wrong person for you, and it either works or it doesn't.
Fine, I'm doing tons of mind-reading. But I think the road back together is so long and filled with obstacles that I don't think he can handle. It's taken me a year to get where I'm at... I have seen a tiny bit of growth in him, but not much.
I dunno. Stuck in a negative zone right now I guess. Which means I need to GAL.
The tone of his emails suggests, to me, that even though he has sadness about the outcome of our relationship, he isn't willing or able to take a step towards me. His own parents got divorced when he was about 3 or 4, so it was all he knew, and he has said that, since his parents got along cordially, it was kind of no big deal for him. (I think he has some unresolved issues in that area, but if he is not ready to face them, then so be it).
25years gave her M a 10% chance of survival. I give mine 1% or less.
If he was showing anger, or acting crazy, I might give it a better chance because that shows there is a lot of unresolved stuff. But my H seems calm, friendly, detached.
I've also been thinking a lot about our interactions in the last few days. I opened up a lot about my role in our downfall. He thanked me for that, told me he's happy that I am happier now... and yet still has not been able to really acknowledge his side of things. I played a big role, yes... but so did he.
And I've been thinking that this man who cannot--after a full year, after I have opened up about my responsibility, acknowledge any of the ways he specifically pushed me away or contributed to the failure of our marriage--is certainly not the right man for me. Not now anyways.
Part of me--the vindictive part-- wants him to get into a new R because I think that's the only way he'll learn that what he thought was so horrible was actually just LIFE. And that if he hasn't changed the same old Sh!t will come up for him again.
I don't think he's capable of doing that work. I think he believes that you either pick the right person for you or the wrong person for you, and it either works or it doesn't.
Fine, I'm doing tons of mind-reading. But I think the road back together is so long and filled with obstacles that I don't think he can handle. It's taken me a year to get where I'm at... I have seen a tiny bit of growth in him, but not much.
I dunno. Stuck in a negative zone right now I guess. Which means I need to GAL.
So much of this resonates with me right now. I now it stinks being in that negative zone, hope you get out quickly.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
