Old dog seeks new trick 5

[raliced]

But it is disappointing that she is being so selfish. Most of the time I can roll with it. To paraphrase MrBond's words earier in my thread. I need to just shrug my shoulders and get over it.

Helping you with the record...You're disappointed because on some level you are still expecting her to behave like your wife of 25 years. That will just bring you pain. You have to let go of those expectations.

Mr. Bond gave you good advice there.

This is something I am really struggling with too, although in my case its expectations I have of STBX as a father.

[Old Dog]

OK, yes. I think I took my foot off the pedal a little.

And the convo we had really didn't help. She's going to be wondering if our unconventional relationship will work at all now.

I'm going to set up another DB coaching call I think.

[u-turn]

Hey Old Dog,
You seem to do so well when you are away. Keep that same attitude when you go back. Have no expectations that things are going to be different. Asking to go to the movies seems like such an easy thing - right? But it was only setting yourself up for another punch.

Hang in there.

[Old Dog]

My DB coach advised treating her like a sister which I have been trying to do. Be lovingly detached.

I would invite my sister to see a movie any day of the week. I guess that's OK, but I just need to be OK with a no.

Back to the marathon then.

[raliced]

Well- I would argue that your wife isn't seeing these invitations as "sisterly" right now. Even if you are asking out of a place of brotherly affection, that isn't what she wants to see. Just my opinion, but I'd quash those.