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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 24
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dil Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 24
So it's been a little more than a month since My last post. Here's an update. we spent thanksgiving at separate places. W went to her BFFs house and I at my moms. I offered for her to stop by if she had time. She said probably not.

I also tried to go NC for 3 weeks only to find out that she was a little upset about me not contacting her. She mentions she hates that I always distance myself and how I wait until the last possible opportunity to do something. Like waiting for her become serious about D to start fighting for her. It's frustrating to hear that because I have been fighting for her this whole time by changing myself and behaviors that got me into this mess and practicing DB to not push her away. The only mistakes I've made the past month was initiating R talks (a couple times) with her which I am not doing anymore. That's kept me at the point I'm at now.

Yesterday I told her I'm moving back into the house. I get to the house and immediately noticed she was upset so I asked her what was wrong. She asked why I'm doing this now when before I couldn't make a decision to come back into the house. I told her because I pay for it too and I want to be home. Then all I heard was constant blaming me for what seemed like random things. I kept my composure and stayed cool while validating her on those things even though I did not agree with some of them. Then, we set boudaries like letting her go and hang out without any expectation of when she will be home. Me staying in the extra bedroom. Some finance stuff, mostly budget. And not expecting to cook and eat with each other.

During this time she was so so cold and being somewhat childish in her responses to me. I mentioned at one point I wanted to talk like civil adults as she was making snide remarks under her breath. It was sort of frustrating but I kept my composure and a calm voice that seemed to diffuse her a little.

She still is gung ho about D, but knowing that doesn't affect me as much as it used to. I told her I still love her the same even through our separation and still don't want divorce. I'm still GAL and pursuing my own hobbies but still find myself thinking about W all the time.


Me:31 W:28
No Kids
T:14 M:8
BD:09/24/14
Separation 09/25/14
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 24
D
dil Offline OP
New Member
OP Offline
New Member
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 24
I am detaching little by little. A hard thing to do and I find myself always thinking about what I could have done differently to avoid making things worse. I read all these sitches looking for any sort of advice from them that may help me but I understand that everyones is different and that I can't apply some of the same principles and advice thats been given in them. All I can do is read and hope maybe some of your sitches lead to a happy ending. Always hoping mine will but right now, it doesn't seem that way...


Me:31 W:28
No Kids
T:14 M:8
BD:09/24/14
Separation 09/25/14
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