How to start rebuilding? - 2

[Hoju]

Thanks guys, I believe all of the finances have been settled with the signing of the separation agreement so there should be no more issue on that end. I'm not overly sure why she wants to file now especially since it wont be effective until July anyway. W has always been one to move very, very, very quickly when she wants something. Here's the draft for my email;

"W,

I don't want to end our marriage, but I won't stand in your way. I respect your decision but I disagree with it. If you would like the lawyer to file now here is my address. Just let me know what you decide.

I am doing very well and enjoying my new place, thank you for asking."

There are a few other logistical things to add but they aren't really important so I'll add those after. Even just writing this it feels silly, she doesn't love me any more and clearly wants out. Should I even bother with the "I don't want to end our marriage, but I won't stand in your way. I respect your decision but I disagree with it." or just tell her to go ahead. Thoughts?

Thanks again guys

[Hoju]

I think I may actually be pretty close to being fully detached. I sent the email tonight and while writing I realized I honestly didn't care how she answers. I don't expect a positive response for opening up again and telling her it's still not what I want and honestly I don't really care. I had an awesome weekend and life for me is very good. I suppose this is just a high right now and reality may come crashing in again but I feel completely at peace with the idea of losing W forever.

[Hoju]

Well today would have made 3 years being married. Honestly it's hard but I thought it would hurt more.

I still haven't heard back from W regarding the filing for D, not sure if that's good or bad. I know the answer doesn't matter, just continuing to move forward with life.

[Hoju]

W emailed me back today regarding moving forward with the D. Simply said, sorry it took so long, this isn't easy but she is going to tell the lawyer to go ahead and file. Looks like this is the end of my rollarcoaster ride, not the stop I would have liked to get off on but it's one I've come to terms with. Thanks everyone here for all your help and support.

[helpjim]

my God i completely feel for the situation. it is tragic. my marriage was failing and with no hope for counseling and such loneliness for two years before the surprise filing and looting she did. EA or PA maybe happened, dont know. we havent spoken since May.

it took me months to mourn, but i feel like she never existed anymore.
you will heal, you deserve better. pray or work on yourself to find someone better.
i did and there are many that find me attractive.

we want to forgive and reconcile, but the women in todays society are told "there is always something better"
i know there will be many lonely empowered females that are high off ruining us until karmic debt is repaid

[jim0987]

Hi Hoju, sorry to about your latest news.

Wife and divorce aside, how are you doing?

[helpjim]

my gosh are all american born women evil?
affairs, OM, PA. so wrong

[Hoju]

No they aren't evil and I'm sure all WAS have no intentions of hurting the LBS. They do it because they are unhappy, feel trapped and see it as there only way to happiness. While I'm sure others make the decision to leave much easier for the WAS, as they offer comfort and support, it is our own actions that more often then not cause our sposes to stray.

I haven't posted in several weeks as my sitch is over but I'm hurting today. Probably because of valentines day and the thought that she is happy with someone else. I know it shouldn't bother me and it's petty, but if i'm alone and hurting, she should be too... at least for now.

Jim, i'm doing ok personally. In the best shape of my life, still doing a ton of activities, work is going great. I feel like the best person I have ever been and I wish W cared enough to look and see .

I hope everyone is having a very nice Valentines withwhat ever they may be up to today.