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Joined: Jun 2014
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And wear a sexy Halloween costume! smile haha

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Anger is not bad, but you do need to examine why you feel that way and who owns what in the problem.
That will give you insight into changing the interaction. Which I have struggled with.

I have tended atm towards walking away, he is still saying I'm done wants no contact so his circular discussions are not for me. I have no reason to invest and be drawn into arguments which is what he seems to be trying to maintain

Yeah second the costume!

Last edited by Ggrass; 10/27/14 01:24 AM.

M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 536
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Looks like another thread is in my near future, so I'll wrap this one up with some random thoughts...

Not sure why, but I've been feeling a lot calmer and more at peace with the way things are lately. If we were to D tomorrow, my life wouldn't really change, other than having to split time with the kids. I'm becoming more detached as the days go on. Although I will admit that I think a big part of it is that I don't *think* OM is still in the picture. No way to know for sure, but it appears that W has finally realized she needs to come back down from la la land, face reality and work on herself.

I sent W an email earlier this week asking if she could watch the kids while I travel for work a few days next week. I never travel for work, so I'm sure that piqued her interest (I gave her very few details). Also extended a 'feel free to stop by' invite to the Halloween party this weekend that she inquired about. She responded with a play by play of her upcoming weekend- time/place/with who. Not sure why- habit? to prove she's not with OM? Said she may have time to swing by.

D10's school function last night and we all sat together (S15 saved her a seat, not me). Struggle with friendly vs friendship boundary, but I know that's something better demonstrated over time. Easy to just be friendly to a neighbor, harder when it's the mother of your 3 children and W of 15 yrs. She's coming by the house tonight to work on kids' costumes- things like that I go back and forth on. Should I ask that she take the kids to her place? Should I ask for her key and make her knock on the door?? Have the rest of her things packed up waiting for her???

W's bestfriend text us both last night asking if the plan was still for her to come over for Halloween and make a cake with the kids before going trick or treating (tradition). I responded that she was more than welcome to come over, but that I thought W was going to a friend's with S15. W didn't mention anything about it to me at D10's play later that evening. Not sure if she's waiting for me to invite her?

IC session the other night and he agreed with a lot of the feedback on here in that he thinks W wants me to make the D decision, evident by her repeated vague, conflicting messages. I've decided that I'm going to let her steer for a while. I have no plans on bringing up R or D, just to see if she takes any action these next few weeks. I'll continue to be friendly and see where she takes us. I suppose that keeps me in limbo for a while longer in respect to being M or proceeding towards D, but that thought/decision no longer runs my life.



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