Stealth, I am so glad you are taking it slow, step by step in the right direction. When I think about I am sure if I had any opportunity of reconciliation, my H and I would need to take it very, very slow to heal so much pain we are going through.
Congrats on dealing with your anger, you doing a great job finding ways to diverge the anger and do somethings you like, productive. This process of making yourself a better man is amazing, I am sure you feel good about your progress.
Be patient and continue doing what works, be happy...
Stealth, I am so glad you are taking it slow, step by step in the right direction. When I think about I am sure if I had any opportunity of reconciliation, my H and I would need to take it very, very slow to heal so much pain we are going through.
Congrats on dealing with your anger, you doing a great job finding ways to diverge the anger and do somethings you like, productive. This process of making yourself a better man is amazing, I am sure you feel good about your progress.
Be patient and continue doing what works, be happy...
Keeping you in my prayers! Good Luck!
Thanks for all the kind words, I really appreciate it.
We talked the other day and she said some wounds are still raw and she feels like she was "punched in the guts" when it came to us getting married and me putting it off really hurt her. She never came right out and mentioned it in that way but I was putting it off but not because I didn't want to marry her, just because we had so much on the go, moving all the time, building a new house, our jobs away from each other, She said we could just go in front of a judge and have him do it but I knew that's not what she really wanted, I wanted to make it the wedding she dreamed of but I never communicated that to her in the right way, the last little bit has been a major breakdown in communication on both our parts and that's something im really working on and she agrees that its something that needs to be addressed and really worked on if this is going to work and last like I want it too.
I am just giving her space now, we are still chatting daily but i hope she doesn't get to scared to actually try again, that is what she said her biggest fear is.
Her fear is very understandable, I would say you have some fear too... after so much pain you went through, it's not easy to open yourself without any guarantees.
But you are doing great, giving her space and time to work on her own issues. And, I think the greatest accomplishment is that you two want to work in the communication and make it better. This is very important if this is going to work.
Oh, I am a little jealous of you (in a good way). Today I will meet H to talk about our D. He told my S20 that he is done, he has feelings for someone else, he needs to move on, he wants to be friends with me, he cares deeply for me.
It would be so nice if we were talking about maybe giving our M a chance, but maybe it's too late for us. We will see. I still have hope, I still feel that he loves me, I can't explain it but I feel it.
Keep doing what works, seems you are in the right track. Congrats on the hard work. Be patient, you will get there.
Her fear is very understandable, I would say you have some fear too... after so much pain you went through, it's not easy to open yourself without any guarantees.
But you are doing great, giving her space and time to work on her own issues. And, I think the greatest accomplishment is that you two want to work in the communication and make it better. This is very important if this is going to work.
Oh, I am a little jealous of you (in a good way). Today I will meet H to talk about our D. He told my S20 that he is done, he has feelings for someone else, he needs to move on, he wants to be friends with me, he cares deeply for me.
It would be so nice if we were talking about maybe giving our M a chance, but maybe it's too late for us. We will see. I still have hope, I still feel that he loves me, I can't explain it but I feel it.
Keep doing what works, seems you are in the right track. Congrats on the hard work. Be patient, you will get there.
Hugs! Pink
well you never know what will happen, when we met last it was to say goodbye basically and her giving me the ring back, we had a talk then she broke down and asked if we could go see someone to get help and see if we could make it work.i wasn't expecting that at all but it happened, it could for you too.
There was never anyone else on the side with us but who knows, ill be rooting for ya.
You were right, we never know. I tough H and I would talk about the D, but nothing. He did not say much about, we had a good time.
I did many things wrong though, my emotions got the best of me, had one too many glasses of wine. It all finish with him taking care after me.
And we end up in my bed, what was totally wrong at this point. Next day he came to the house to see if I was OK and to apologize for taking advantage of the situation.
He said that because he cares so much for me that his feelings are mixed up and he knows he needs to follow his heart and brain that are saying he needs to move on, but he feels he needs to distance himself and give me space to be happy.
He cried a lot saying it's being very difficult for him because he feels I am not doing good.
Well, I need to pick up myself and go dark for now. In a good way because we have the kids. But I need to reassess my goals and I don't see any way around. I need to distance myself from him.
I don't feel too good. I made a mistake and I feel bad that I could not control my pain. It's so hard.
Hope you are doing well and things are moving along w/your W,
Thanks for your support, it means a lot for me. Pink
You were right, we never know. I tough H and I would talk about the D, but nothing. He did not say much about, we had a good time.
I did many things wrong though, my emotions got the best of me, had one too many glasses of wine. It all finish with him taking care after me.
And we end up in my bed, what was totally wrong at this point. Next day he came to the house to see if I was OK and to apologize for taking advantage of the situation.
He said that because he cares so much for me that his feelings are mixed up and he knows he needs to follow his heart and brain that are saying he needs to move on, but he feels he needs to distance himself and give me space to be happy.
He cried a lot saying it's being very difficult for him because he feels I am not doing good.
Well, I need to pick up myself and go dark for now. In a good way because we have the kids. But I need to reassess my goals and I don't see any way around. I need to distance myself from him.
I don't feel too good. I made a mistake and I feel bad that I could not control my pain. It's so hard.
Hope you are doing well and things are moving along w/your W,
Thanks for your support, it means a lot for me. Pink
Soory I didn't get back to this sooner, im back offshore and hard to get online. Sorry to hear about your situation but it does sound like he has feelings for you, I had heard the same thing at first as well, she said she needed to separate herself from me, she thought I wasn't happy and her heart told her she had to leave and we had to move on. I took what she said and just did my own thing. Then she came to meet and to give me the ring and must have saw something and she wants to go talk to someone. She is still very scared, she hasn't said it recently as we have been talking but I can tell. She had said before that she has never has never reversed a decision before and doesn't feel right doing now so she is being cautious, im giving her space and not talking about relationship stuff, that can happen when I get home and when we go see someone to talk to.
We are going to have a little xmas with my daughter when I home and she is going to spend new years with us. She said she doesn't feel right staying in the same house right now because she said it might be to hard and she already wants to decorate and things like that, she said its really hard on her and she is confused, im not pushing her to stay but I offered if she wants too. I said I would stay in the other room and we can just hang out, whatever she wants.
I guess we will see what happens when I get home from work. How are you doing?
