I'm a very emotional and hot-headed person. I can be counted on to react first and regret it later. Or at least, I could -- I'm making it one of my 180s.
Now, when I'm in a situation where I'd usually just let the storm consume me and then feel sheepish and stupid later, I try to remind myself that losing my long term wants (a better, healthier relationship with BF , if he ever decides he wants one) for my emotions of the moment just isn't worth it.
I get you, though; it's really hard to maintain control in the moment when all that anger and hurt is sweeping through you.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Tarheel I forgot to mention you in my thank yous . Your points are well received . I know you ve been here for awhile . Do you have an opinion when its too late , its over and time to move on ? Dawgy . Ps everyone , I went to IC yesterday morning and thats when i decided D looked inevitable . Counsellor figured so
Dawgy, I, like everyone else on here want to help. Although sometimes it can come across as attacking you, know that we're just providing an honest outside view of your sitch and role in the M.
Yes, I have been here for a while- over 1 yr since S and if you would have asked me the day after BD, I would have told you 'no way this lasts longer than 3 mos.' Which just goes to show you- it's not over until you're ready for it to be over. Only you can make that call. But understand that your feelings will go from one extreme to the other on any given day. At least mine have. Continue to work on only the things that you can control- yourself. I understand that you want your W to suffer for her actions (as I once wanted my W to), but it's not your 'role' to punish her.
You've been provided some great advice lately (IC, apologizing to your W, losing the scorecard, etc). What do you have to lose by taking that advice and seeing where it gets you, as clearly your way is not working. Hang in there!
