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Joined: Feb 2013
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asking for advice:

today is Xbfs bday.... DD asked him out last night for tonight. Today, he asks me if I want to join them. I think its great that he asked me to join.

Should I go?

1) If I go, He gets nice family time for his bday, like he wants. (he did not come to mine, however, I could tell he was on the fence)
2) If I don't go, I could just say that I will just let the two of them go out as we were just out for beer/pizza last night. .... (therefore I am not at his convenience).

WARNING: there will be a rebuttal to anyone who may comment as I am withholding a key piece of information that I do not want to be part of anyones initial response.

Thanks!!


M:46 H:49 T:20yrs
myD:22
H distant summer/12
H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12
BD: Dec 2/12
asked me begin to move end of Jan/13
moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff)
"agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Joined: Jan 2010
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Quote:
WARNING: there will be a rebuttal to anyone who may comment as I am withholding a key piece of information that I do not want to be part of anyones initial response.

Are you kidding me? Honestly, the above statement...says to me..that this is soooo much a game of tactics.

My answer is regardless of what information you are "holding back" - is do whatever it is that you want or feel like doing with NO EXPECTATIONS.


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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ok... thx Eric. It was not about tactics, but wanted an opinion that did not include my DD...yet.

I find it hard to determine the diff between hope and expectations... will think more about that.

The reason I was withholding was due to my DD's feelings about me being there.

I want & will likely consider HER feelings first, but wondered if fair/right...its his bday and he "asked" for me to be there. <<< this is a nice thing.

I want to do what is right for ME... a woman who has self value and is not available on HIS call, all the time.

Her feelings are that she is uncomfortable in "family setting".. she wants to KNOW that we are working on us.. not just "seeing how it goes". She is making her stance. I understand her feelings. She wants HIM to know that too (but today is not quite the day to discuss awkwardness)

Last edited by makingmagic; 10/08/14 09:14 PM.

M:46 H:49 T:20yrs
myD:22
H distant summer/12
H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12
BD: Dec 2/12
asked me begin to move end of Jan/13
moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff)
"agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,561
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,561
update: I did not go for dinner with them.

my explanation to him when he asked again was that I was letting them go for dinner & that I had seen him the night before. His response was "thats my choice". He even attempted to offer a Keg dinner, thinking I would be inclined by that... LOL.

When they got back, I called his mom to offer to get something on her behalf (due to her injury). He was in the room with her (I got off phone), I sent a text message... happy birthday, cheers. He thanked me and cheered back.

Last edited by makingmagic; 10/09/14 02:40 AM.

M:46 H:49 T:20yrs
myD:22
H distant summer/12
H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12
BD: Dec 2/12
asked me begin to move end of Jan/13
moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff)
"agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 10
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Posts: 10
Hi MM, I think declining was okay, but was this what YOU wanted? My concern is YOU making decisions based on DD or XBF. Did you want to decline? Think about MM first for a change.

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