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I think it does matter bc he's the father of my children who need him... I've currently been trying to convince myself to remain invested emotionally in his coming back because my children deserve an intact family and they deserve for him to get out of his childish behavior.

He actually isn't spending a lot of money on his careless activities, aside from getting the speeding ticket. His roommate is a vet with PTSD and yay! The government is giving him very excessive
Prescriptions for free...so the drugs are free, the sex is free, the speeding ticket cost like $150, I think. I'm pregnant, so I can't divorce him...and i'll have to be convinced to file for divorce once I have this baby...because I meant it when I promised to stand by his side in good times & bad...


Me: 30
Him: 30
Daughter: 5
Son: 3
Daughter: 1
Started dating: 2008
Married: 2010
He moved out: late 7/14

Currently 180ing & LastResorting
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Seeking out legal advice does not mean you need to file for divorce. It will give you some peace of mind (about the type of child support you could reasonably expect) and possibly some protection.

For example, if he kills someone while he is excessively speeding while on prescription drugs - your family assets are on the line.

Protecting yourself and your children does not mean you aren't standing with him.


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
Joined: Oct 2014
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Originally Posted By: jpLove
I think it does matter bc he's the father of my children who need him... I've currently been trying to convince myself to remain invested emotionally in his coming back because my children deserve an intact family and they deserve for him to get out of his childish behavior.


They absolutely DO deserve those things, you're right. But you can't change what he's doing, or stop what he's doing or make him want to be involved. Wondering why he's doing this stuff, or what it means that he's doing it doesn't change your control over the situation.

Focusing on those things is mind reading and it's a cheese-less tunnel - you're guessing about the motivation, and have no way of knowing if you're right or not, so it's pointless to even think about.

I'd be dollars to donuts HE'S not even sure of what he's doing or why. He's in alien mode.

There are better things to focus on to keep yourself and your kids healthy and happy through this trial, and they're going to need you more than ever right now.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 413
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Legal advice - pronto. The moment my H started acting really, really nasty but before he moved out, I saw an attorney. Not because I want to be divorced, but because I wanted to know my rights and wanted to know how to handle any situations that occur. I also didn't want to be blindsided, should my H file for seperation/divorce. I'm glad that I did - as my H suggested that I move out of our home because he needed time and space. No way buddy. And that was one of the first things the lawyer covered. These are things you need to know, just so you can make informed decisions, should the time arise.

I applaud your dedication and your tenacity. But you can't change what your H is doing right now. You can't make him want to stop the behavior.

What you CAN do is take care of yourself and protect your children. I echo what Little said -- they are going to need you more than ever right now.


M:32,H 32
T:10, M5
BD/H Move Out: 9/2014 - extreme anger
H Mental Illness Diagnosis: 4/15
Served D Papers: 10/15
Divorced: 11/15
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