Of all the conversations, that my friend is a great one to have. She seems to be feeling you out to see where you stand. To see if you're going to sledge hammer her (she likely feels like she deserves it) or not.
Could certainly be a touch and go, or something more. Can I suggest that you be on your guard against yourself? A lot of times as this stuff goes back and forth like this, it will bring up feelings you "buried" before. Now's not the time for that to be resolved.
If she decides she wants to have a relationship with you, she'll be a long, slow time in committing to that. Or she may get scared and run away thinking she could never be good enough to be in a relationship with you ever again.
You're doing very well. Very. And I suspect the PMA is not so hard to come by any longer, is it?
AJ
Yeah ... I was thinking about it .. Probably over analyzing a bit ... but seems about a month or so ago she had me over to "discuss bills" ... but she was really grilling me to find out if I was with anyone .... not that I could find the time nor have the ambition mind you ... but the GAL and being mysterious seemed to trigger that. And you are right, she seems to be feeling me out, trying to see if I will punish her for the A, something I have thought about myself because at times, yes that old hurt does resurface. But .. fake it till you make it .. I have not shared this with her, I lock it down, and DB the best I can and I seem to be making slow but steady process. I know she has a ton to get through herself .. seems she is starting to process what she has done, and I dont think she wants to go through it. So like today, S upset her and she decided to go off on him, and try to drag me into it. I politely removed myself ... validated, and did not take the bait.
You ARE doing really well, Caliguy! I'm impressed with your restraint and staying true to your promises to yourself. Like AJ said, there's constant back and forth, up and down. Detachment helps keep your close enough to empathize but far enough to not get drawn in. Be mindful and open.
rock on!
Thank you Ss ... yeah the push/pull is becoming very clear to me, strange what you are so alerted to when DBing rather than reacting, everything is so planned and you just seem to have the tools to deal with it better.
