Well update time I guess. W still has a bunch of stuff at the house, all the big stuff is gone now though. We got the cell phones and insurance split up, the tax return is done and filed for last year, and we are splitting up the finances later this week and she will have a first draft of the divorce decree to me this week.
I just can't believe how fast this is moving along.
Saturday was a bad day, that is when I had to spend time with her and then see her go again. I was an emotional wreck until I started writing her a letter that I want to give her (maybe) when the divorce decree is signed. After that I felt a lot better.
Positive things, I am really looking forward to decorating the house as I see fit. A lot of what is left I will keep because I like it. A lot of my free time this weekend was going on pintrest to look for ideas on the house and I got some really good ones. I am actually looking forward to painting, moving stuff around, and working on the house decorations (she did most of it). I am looking forward to gardening (she always did it), and building furniture.
Sad part is a lot of the above I used to do it all, I guess that is the point of GAL, find yourself again and become a better person. I still miss her terribly, I have a friend whose wife has been a great help. Whenever I want to text my W I write my friend's wife instead so at least I know someone is reading it.
Me 34 W 30 T 13 M 8 BD 7/27/14 EA Confirmed 8/6/14 S 8/2/14 D Imminent
I quote the immortal words of Socrates who said "...I drank what?"
Oh, when I saw her on Saturday she was having a HUGE breakout of zits on her face. She never really got them before, I guess she is still stressing about what's going on, among other things.
All of this is still so weird
Me 34 W 30 T 13 M 8 BD 7/27/14 EA Confirmed 8/6/14 S 8/2/14 D Imminent
I quote the immortal words of Socrates who said "...I drank what?"
One of those funny things, yesterday I was in my driveway after riding home from work. There was a slight breeze, the sun was getting long, there was a certain smell in the air and I had this feeling of dread. I didn't realize until today that yesterday was the last day of summer. Now we enter the 2 months I absolutely love, and I won't be able to spend any of it with my W...and most likely any other time.
W is coming over today to pick up more stuff, I will be out and about for a bit while she is doing that, but we need to split the finances before Thursday so we really need to speak.
On a plus side I figured out what I am going to do for my headboard, so it looks like I am gonna be painting and woodworking this weekend, really looking forward to that!
Me 34 W 30 T 13 M 8 BD 7/27/14 EA Confirmed 8/6/14 S 8/2/14 D Imminent
I quote the immortal words of Socrates who said "...I drank what?"
Okay so she is coming over tonight, not to get more stuff but to discuss the finances (She already has her own place and I am keeping the house, and my paycheck is going into the joint acct which she has access to and part of her money). I will try and do my best, but just how in the heck to do you validate in this situation?
In ego boosting news, I saw two people over lunch today and they marveled at how I looked. I even just had someone ask me out for coffee. I accepted (for some reason), friendly chat and meeting new people I guess is why I did it.
Any advice on the finance conversation?
Me 34 W 30 T 13 M 8 BD 7/27/14 EA Confirmed 8/6/14 S 8/2/14 D Imminent
I quote the immortal words of Socrates who said "...I drank what?"
OK, update time. W came over to grab a few things and we talked finances. I had specifically asked her to talk to me regarding it in person so there was no confusion and boy was I glad I did. She started off by saying she was going to stop moving stuff out and solely focus on the house buyout and the divorce. I explained to her the only reason I wanted to discuss the finances is because her paycheck is now going into her own account and mine is in the joint (no personal acct for me). I just said we need to split what is in there and then that is it, since all of the bills have been split anyway and also since her rent and my mortgage is due next week. I explained the "paperwork" can come later and is not a high priority on my list of stuff (nor will I be doing ANYTHING to advance it). She simply said "oh, oh yeah that's a good idea and makes sense"
Talked a little more about stuff and then it came to the dogs (I have all the senior dogs). She asked if I wanted to take Penny to the chiropractor and I simply said I can't, not because I think it doesn't help, but I told her it's a money issue (VERY tight budget). She is on medication that controls her pain pretty well so I'm not too concerned about it. A 180 for me would have been to agree but I honestly can't afford that right now until I get a roommate, so maybe a slight setback there. She did say if there is anything I need (help, advice, etc) regarding the dogs to please call her and she will take care of it.
Before she left I gave her the certification for the diamond in her ring (that hurt to do). It was mainly for insurance purposes, but I know she will need it if she wants to sell the ring. I'm glad I did because her response was, "I looked everywhere for it, where was it?" I told her where it was which was with all the house stuff. I gave it to her and said "I don't know if you have sold the ring but you will need this for the insurance policy if you still have it/keep it." She said she hadn't sold the ring (that made me feel better, and I didn't say anything, just nodded my head).
Speaking of which, what do I do with all of the pictures of us around the house and my ring? I was thinking of reusing the frames on most of them, storing the pictures, and keeping the ring in the same place. Is that what most people do? I am not ready for this to be over and I don't know to destroy the pictures out of spite. I know she won't be taking them, so...any advice?
I have my last session with the IC tonight then I am prepping the house to "make it mine" over the weekend. I wish I was good at crafts, which is something I am going to start doing as one of my GALs.
Thanks all
Me 34 W 30 T 13 M 8 BD 7/27/14 EA Confirmed 8/6/14 S 8/2/14 D Imminent
I quote the immortal words of Socrates who said "...I drank what?"
Hi Dpthght, I thought of destroying the photos too, but when I really thought about why I wanted to do it I realized I was upset with her and thought it would make her feel some of my loss. I was making it about her. When/if she moves out I'm going to box them up with the ring and a hard drive of all the digital photos, out of sight, out of mind. I know I won't regret keeping them, but I'm reasonably sure I would regret destroying them at some point.
Hang in there, good luck at your IC session tonight.
Me:33 W:32 T 12yrs M 3yrs House, No kids 6/16/14 BD 1+yr PA disclosed 9/1/14 Requested divorce, in house S
