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#2479465 08/15/14 09:15 PM
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cane Offline OP
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My wife and i have been together for 5 years and married for two. I love her so much. I spent 10 years chasing after her while she was in other relationships before she gave me a chance. we hit it off very quick and I fell deeply in love with her. we had a perfect relationship. we have never had a fight until now. about 6 months ago I went to the bar and got really drunk and acted really stupid. I was with my friends and i wanted to impress them for some stupid reason. they pointed out a girl in the bar and said I bet you cant get her number. so I did. when i left the bar there where a couple of txt messages sent back and fourth between us. It was nothing sexual. when I woke up the next morning sober. I felt like a complete idiot and deleted the txt messages. My wife found out about it. at 1st I lied about it because i was scared of what might happen. she didnt believe me and she told me that it was over. the next day I came clean and told her the whole story. Leaving nothing out. she didnt believe that was all that happened. she got on a plane the next day and went to california to stay with her sister. she was out in california for 2 months. while she was out there we had no communication. just text messages. she came back to florida about 3 months ago and is living with her mother. right down the road from our house. when she first got back she was coming to are house every day to hangout for a little bit. and every once in awhile we would stay the night together. no sex or anything like that. I havnt stayed with her in about 3 weeks, and our communication with each other has gotten worse. Every time we start to talk about what we are going to do she starts to cry and leaves upset. she says that she does not want to lose me but that she doesnt know if she can ever trust me again. I have written her about 30 letters since this happened. Trying to explain to her that I would never cheat on her and that i would do anything for her, and she has not said anything about the letters that I have written. I know what I did was very stupid and a betrayal. I am very remorseful. I need some advice on what to do. I do not want to lose her

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Welcome to the board

Get out and GAL.

DETACH.

Believe none of what she says and half of what she does.

Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

You are on moderation right now on the forum.
SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.

Your W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.

USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon


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cane Offline OP
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thank you Cadet.

I have been trying to get out and live my life. Its just hard because all I think about is her and whats going to happen. Im trying a new thing that I read online. It said to put on a game face when I'm around her. Act extremely happy with everything. Im willing to try anything.

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Originally Posted By: cane
I have written her about 30 letters since this happened.


STOP doing this.

Speak with Actions not words.
Stop begging, pleading, and bargaining, those thing will not work.

Keep posting here.


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What else was wrong in your relationship? Are you being absolutely truthful with yourself when you say that you had a perfect relationship except this one little slip up?


Me 28 W 27
T 10 M 2
No kids (fertility issues - mine)
Bomb 7/20/2014 - EA Confirmed
W moved out 9/15/14
W dating OM 11/22/14
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cane Offline OP
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Yes I am being truthful when I say that we had a perfect relationship. At least I thought we did. She told me three weeks ago that she wanted a divorce. Since then I moved into a condo. She asked me to please not stop talking to her. She has texted me every day to see how I'm doing. I respond but do not initiate any conversation. I saw her the other night for the first time. She asked me to go to dinner with her and she wanted to see my new place. The night went great and we actually kissed for the first time in 5 months. Nothing changed though. She keeps saying that this is how it has to be for right now. It's driving me crazy with the mixed signals. I have heard that she has been hanging out with a guy that I know. I had a feeling that she was, but it doesn't seem like she is ready to let me go


Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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