I know how easy it is to get caught in the vicious cycle of thinking about your own sitch and getting sadder and sadder. Don't do it. I spend way too many days being unproductive at work, not GALing, or focusing on something that will cause progress in me. JFred, you have to focus on you or regardless of the outcome it will only make things worse, or at best keep them the same as they are today. Pictures and other memorable items have their place but hopefully in a drawer that keeps them out of sight, out of mind.
I know it's hard, hang in there.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
Well, that's it. M is over. Divorce finalized...got the certified copy of the Judgment of Divorce today. What a horrible day.
I wish W had felt like most on here...that the M was worth saving. But, as she said, my A was too much for her to be able to get over. The trust is gone and so is the love for me. I have to live with that the rest of my life.
I guess there is nothing left to say or do. Thanks to everyone on this board for the support. It's been a long year and a half. A special thanks to Starsky, Bond, 25Years, Train, Twin, and Bunches. Your replies to my situation and to others on here have been invaluable to me.
I was the cheater and the wayward, but all of you still took time to reply. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Though my situation is done, I will continue to read up on everyone's sitches...and continue to pray for all of you. I don't have much insight, but if anyone ever needs a cheater's perspective, let me know. I truly am sorry for what cheaters like me have put you all through. Be strong and keep your eyes on the Lord.
I am so sorry it didn't work out. My marriage is headed the same direction. :-( I just don't understand after all of this crap why he doesn't try harder?
Oh well, moving on. It's sad he is going to end up in the same position as you but he really didn't try hard enough.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
I'm sorry to hear that your D is finalized. I can imagine it's a difficult day. I am prepared for mine should it arrive. Just wanted to point out a few things to you.
While the D may be the end result, I think over the process you have grown, and recognized those things within yourself that you needed to change. My guess is you won't end up in a similar situation again.
The perspective you bring to the table as the wayward is invaluable, and your insight and contributions are appreciated. Hope you stay around, and best of luck in this new chapter.
JFred, if our spouses were as remorseful and clear-minded as you've been we wouldn't be here. We've all screwed up. I wish you the best and hope to see more of how life unfolds for you.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
JFred, if our spouses were as remorseful and clear-minded as you've been we wouldn't be here. We've all screwed up. I wish you the best and hope to see more of how life unfolds for you.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If my H was like you JFred I would be having sex every night again.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
You sought out another woman because after repeated attempts at trying to get through to your W that your needs weren't getting met, she didn't do anything. In fact, you were very remorseful of the A, but your W didn't want to hear it. You gave it your best shot. She already was emotionally detached from you before this even happened.
She also heaped alot of guilt onto you which you accepted time and time again. Clear your head and start living again.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
