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Joined: Jun 2014
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Hey U-Turn buddy . I dont even need to post anymore . You are saying it all for me . Our sitches are virtually the same and your wife sounds like a clone of mine . That being said , you can clearly see you are not alone in this . There are many many people out there crossing the same bridges as you . My wife has me so messed up , its not funny.I do truly believe they are hurting badly too and it seems they cant help themselves from inflicting the pain on us in which carries over to them .

Detachment is the only way to feel better . If your like me ,you want to be around her a lot but when you actually are it hurts and is uncomfortable . When you are away and detaching you feel better in many ways but yet you long to be with her at the same time. Actually GALing makes me feel better than detaching . But then again GALing is detaching lololol Im a mess this morning dude . Anyway chin up , we can do this


Me 45 W 45
Son 16 Son 14
Married 23 together 27
W threatened sep several times
W still at home
A discovered Mar 17 2014
A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 924
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I made it through the weekend without back-stepping (I believe). Succeeded at my small goals. Pleasant, PMA, no talking about us or her or me. I guess it went pretty well according to plan, she just seems annoyed that I am not being her best friend right now. I think this is ok and I shouldn't try to figure out what she is thinking.

I have to say that it does make me feel a little better to detach - not natural but a it feels like I'm more removed from the troubles. Sometimes I think that things could be better right now if we weren't in the same house - this may have to happen.

I don't get emotional any more, I don't get angry, but sometimes I still get impatient. But I'll keep trying to control that - I have to keep my mind on the big picture. I know the ball is in her court but she doesn't want to do anything with it.

I think I am not completely detached yet, I am sometimes affected by the music she plays and the books and magazines she is reading these days (they have a whole new meaning when I know it is not me she is relating them to). I don't say anything about them and try to let it go. It's a struggle.



She did ask me again if I was ok going to her bosses cottage next weekend with her and the kids. I did ask who would be there . She said just us. (No OM or OMW will be there). I told her I'd be ok and asked if she would be too. It may be an opportunity for me to shine a little in front of her - be social with her boss, have a good time with the kids. I still think she just wants to look like a happy family in front of her boss.


Me-45 W-44
S21, S18, D15
T-27, M-21
BD Jan 2014
PA revealed March 2014
In-house separation - April 2015
I filed - Aug 2015
She moved out Oct 2015
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 309
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I would definitely go to the cottage bro if she says OM is NOT going to be there . Its fine if she just wants to look good in front of her boss . She is proud of her family obviously , which includes you .This a positive thing the way I see it . You are doing a good job my friend . I know exactly where you are and how you are feeling about your sitch . Sometimes it helps me to look at my sitch and just laugh at it and say stop being so serious dude . We never really know whats around the corner for us . I feel your pain Turn but it is an exercise for you and I and countless others on learning to not need to control things or people . Because the feeling of needing to be in control is extremely hurtful when you dont have control. Let it go and relax , what will be will be no matter what you do or say . I dont know if this helps but It works for me quite a bit . I can tell you are a person who likes to have control and so am I and its one of the reasons we are hurting so bad . Stop trying to control and GAL > It really does help


Me 45 W 45
Son 16 Son 14
Married 23 together 27
W threatened sep several times
W still at home
A discovered Mar 17 2014
A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
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