Im slowly beginning to see that i cant control anything she does and never really could . I can try and influence but someone will only do what they really want to do . She made some major major mistakes and yes she is flopping all over the place . But i want her to know that she can stop flopping around and climb back in the bowl to survive .
I dont see how she cannot see how much damage she is gonna cause our kids by doing only what she wants . When you sign on to be a parent , you sign on
Me 45 W 45 Son 16 Son 14 Married 23 together 27 W threatened sep several times W still at home A discovered Mar 17 2014 A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
I had detachment down pretty good for a short time but since she left a week ago and came back a few days later ive been a complete mess . It feels like she has total control after doing that . Maybe thats why she did it to gain control .If thats the reason then it worked .
Originally Posted By: Starsky309
"I'm sorry, but our home is not a hotel, for you to come and go as you please. It's horribly upsetting and confusing for the kids, and I'm sure we can both agree that we both want to do what's best for them right now."
I dont see how she cannot see how much damage she is gonna cause our kids by doing only what she wants . When you sign on to be a parent , you sign on
Then do YOUR part, Dawg -- because that's all you can control anyway. For a guy who keeps preaching about what SHE is doing to the kids, I don't see you doing what YOU need to do to step up, work thru your pain, and be there for them.
Your wallowing is NOT helping your boys -- not one bit.
Ok Starsky . But i havent let the boys down one iota . Ive been there in every way and Ive been hiding my pain along the way . They just think she went away on a work trip . We havent told them anything . Im sure they notice tension but nothing else . Im only wallowing on the boards trying to vent and figure this all out .they dont need to know whats been going on if she stays and ends her affair . no one will be the wisest .
Me 45 W 45 Son 16 Son 14 Married 23 together 27 W threatened sep several times W still at home A discovered Mar 17 2014 A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
Well - I think kids are smarter than what we give them credit for. Mine are, anyway.
This is a long journey, and I know you're doing your best. Sometimes I wonder what would have been different if I'd just said, "Okay," when H threatened to go get an apartment back in January. Or if he'd gone to her city to break up with her, which he threatened to do the first time I asked (he claimed he was going to drive 1000 miles so he could do it in person).
You cannot control her. You can't control what's going on in her head. It doesn't make sense, it's not rational, and anything you or your family say to her will not make her suddenly snap out of it. That is the shocking, unbelievable, crazy truth.
pretty much what i thought it would be . Telling me that everything is split 50 / 50 . If she leaves then the boys would stay with me assuming they wanted to . She would have to pay child support depending on her income etc etc
Me 45 W 45 Son 16 Son 14 Married 23 together 27 W threatened sep several times W still at home A discovered Mar 17 2014 A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
