Just remember to breathe, Bunches. It helps a lot. She'll probably come at you with more of the spiel you got through text. Don't get me wrong, it's big news and I sympathise with your wife, but she's done this to herself and you are now looking out for you and S in the best way you can. Just keep cool, validate and listen to what she has to say.
Last edited by Barrybran; 11/18/1408:53 PM.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
So, I'm not quite sure what to make of last night. W came over looking like a mess. She was calm and for the first time in more than a year things seemed very different in her demeanor. She was pleasant and that wall that she puts up just wasn't there. I had held off on the dinner I made until she made it over because I knew she was coming from work and she sat down to eat with me. We spent probably an hour with her just talking about this and that with me chiming in on things. We laughed together a good bit. It was relaxed and pleasant. She brought up a couple of R things from the past...almost reminiscent of our past. She brought up at some point that somethings had changed for her about a month ago and she hadn't been able to sleep most any night since, that she wasn't eating, that she was depressed with her life and doesn't know what she wants anymore or what to do.
I stuck with validating, tried to just mirror how difficult that was and said things like "that must be really hard on you" or "I can't imagine what that's like". The evening was relaxed. Then of course she did want to talk about the reasons we met up. We talked about the move and the papers like business decision. There was no tension or crying in the part of the conversation this time. She did cry some earlier when she brought up R stuff but that was a few moments and then it passed. I don't know what happened for her recently but she seems to have hit bottom. I can't even remember how many times she said "I just feel lost".
Thinking this morning I just need to pull back and give her space. I'll email my lawyer back and keep editing papers to what they need to be and planning the move. It was great to feel like the woman I remember was still in there somewhere but nothing has changed today and I'm feeling pretty much okay with that. Just moving forward I guess.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
