She says she's conflicted (part 2)

[Oxford1]

You need some and you need new tools for communicating and in my opinion,

I think you need a new thought pattern. You come off as very negative and suspicious which is usually insecurity.

I suggest one easy and small thing to do is watch the TED TALK videos by Shawn Achor and Amy Cuddy. One is on positive psychology and how we say or view things really changes our lives

and Amy Cuddy's is on "faking it til you Become it" and both talks are about 20 minutes and interestingly presented and on youtube.

It's a start. I think if you start to follow some new behaviors rather than waiting to feel differently, the behaviors will do some of that for you. In other words you ca change how you feel inside by what you do outside, at times.

Otherwise we wait and wait for 'internal inspiration" to make the changes we need and that leads us to being stuck. Inertia is powerful and overcoming that, is a big part of our journey.

Check out those videos and let me know what you think. Feel free to reflect here on what you think you are hearing b/c I'd like to know if something is reaching you at a deep enough level.

Understand?[/color]

Thank you so much!!

I watched both videos. The "Fake it to You Become it" was actually the most insperational to me.

The Positive Psychology is what I have been working with my IC on.

I am being reached deeply. My WW even said I have become a better man. What I realize I have to do is act like I am better do the things that make me better and eventually it will be who I am.

The issue for me is the slipups. Had I not got into a discussion with ww at the gym today or asked the anxiety driven questions I asked, I would be five steps ahead this weekend. The mistake I make is I get to focused on what she is up to or what I think of OM and it leads down the wrong Path.

I am going to try the power pose peice befoe I get into conversations with her.

I am also going to not let her have an effect on my happiness.

Its interesting though , she asks me how I kept busy yesterday while she was out. I ask if OM rented a car and I get attacked as being intrusive.

So I realize I don't have to answer her and this in turn will prevent me from questioning her.

The more I don't care what she is up to, the better off I will become.

[Oxford1]

Good morning 25 I did some serious thinking last night.

This was after the Ww and I had some discussions. Nothing beyond the ordinary.
No arguing no pick me dance

She reveled some thought patterns of The OM.

She said something that that really makes a lot of sense to me(that she is feeling)
She said all she is getting is to much psycho-babble from the Therapist from OM and sometimes from me and that sometimes just talking is psycho babble just because.


This plus everything I have read in DR and on my thread and others has pointed me in the direction I need to go.

I Am going to apply the "fake it to you become it principle"!

Number one is less talk i can think things but I have to keep them to myself.
The best thing I can do right now is get through the next two weeks and two weekends with peace in my mind I need to just keep the peace.

The MC pointed out that OM has this time to try to destroy my family she believes he Is hoping I loose my cool or do something drastic and the less ammunition I give him the better.
Eventually he will get frustrated and start to come apart at the seams.

There is one piece of Ammuniton I have that he does not...the folks on this board!