i ws just over in your thread - reading about the book ya'll were talkin g about. good posts - really fit too. th anks for your insights .
i marvel that all this mlc junk is soooooo predictable and "text book" - here it's all ruining our lives- and there in some book it's just another list of symptoms that are true and fit. it's both sad and funny.
i guess overall it makes me feel better to find it all sooooooohum drum and 'commonm". i'd hate to have some "rare' condition. somehow it's nicer to feel like just another human being having same problems as a million other poor saps. life -humnity - all "in it" together.
it's a shame it leaves us all feeling like our lives are in xshambles - the whole mlc - debacle.
life- wierd and then gets wiereder.
i'd like to be apologetic more about my stinkin polly anna side- but i swear- maybe without it i'd be despairing and depressed and end up going over some edge or drinking myself to death (like some friends/sisters) . i'm grateful that even if i'm a bit doofie - i can manage to not get too "it's all black" ish.
know what i mean? oh well- sos w/ me- hope your Christmas was great and that (for all of us) this new year -( for which i have high hopes for no particular reason other than survived another year and still alive and plugging away - ) is waaay better than any yet- and who the heck knows what may turn up on any of our horizons????/ not me.
fingers crossed for wonderful things (even humble but wonderful) things. .
Hi Nero I hope the new year will be so much better and brighter for you. Last year was a tough one for you and now, hopefully, things will settle down a bit for you.
Yes, it's interesting how there is another list of symptoms and they are true and fit many of our spouses. Too bad we didn't learn about these things when we were in school or we learned about them many years ago. I guess many of these things are cropping up more and more and now in the age of electronics, they are being talked about and yes, people are more open than they were back in the 30's, 40's and 50's.
I'm just happy to be a normal, boring person who takes life each day as it comes. The drama that these folks create and have circling around in their heads must cause them to lose a lot of sleep over time. Oh, well...it's something we didn't break and we sure can't control or fix it for them.
I think the new year is going to bring you some new and exciting things to do. One thing for sure...you need to take care of yourself.
Happy New Year!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I do see a big difference in you, Nero. And yea, I know some of it is just you being worn down or accepting what is for right now. But there is more to it than that. I think you are realizing what you want and you are just unsure about how to get it. Or more like you arent ready to take the next step on your journey. You will be, though. I have no doubt.
i guess we all just morph whether we see it or fee it or what - all the time also i guess - so hoping it's all good.
It is sad, this crisis. No only for how it has affected us and our lives, but, what it has done to theirs. While they may seem happy, I think how can they be truly. It cant make you happy to hurt someone who loves you. It cant make you happy to do whatever you think you have to, in order to find joy. I often imagine what that brokenness must feel like to them.
I love that you see the good sides of things, Nero. Not enough people do. There isnt anything wrong with that, as long as you dont allow yourself to be hurt further.
I know you are tired of it all, my friend. I wish I could find words to make that better.
Just keep moving forward, N. Keep thinking about what you want. Do things you love. Be with people who make you laugh.
I wish this year brings you peace, contentment, laughter and joy.
good to hear your voice. you know, i serioyusly wonder about the whole thing of "them" suffering. perhaps your h and alot of people's are miserable or suffer.
mine - i think he's just like a spoiled "kid" - doing what he wants- takin care of number one- and if he feels guilt or unhappiness about it- well, i thnk he feels some guilt and thats why he is ratty or critical (making sure i'm at fault & "bad") - HOWEVER- I DON'T THINK he even registers my feelings or anyone elses. it's all his feelings. (which, by the way- he doesn't articulate- can't acknowledge and probably hates having) so doesn't admit or own. and of course, criticizes and belittles others feelings because they're allllll "self serving and bids for pity". oh man- what a messed up person. and what a messed up outlook.
i don't think it hurts him tho- . me, based on my feelings and the old "do unto others" i was raised with- my conscience bothers me til i come clean. i'd have had to admit it and end it with me before i could carry on and find any happiness with anyone else by wounding someone that loved me. tooooo guilt-inducing to even endure for long day to day. just can't do it and enjoy myself.
i'm thinking if he could be such a liaar and cheater of long standing- it's just part of who he is. i think that's my problem- who was he anyway??? when i met him and fell in love - and who is he now- and will the real person please stand up.
i think this is howcome i find it better to shove all this crappola aside to be dealt with some other day. too confusing and no answer i can find. (lost about 3 hrs sleep last nite allowing this sort of dopey thought creep into mind - too sleep0-dopey to save self. i should have put the tv back on alot earlier instead of thinking i could block it out by self. silly woman
like my sister that died- was the "real" her the woman i grew up with and knew soooooo well? or was the "real" her the person she became when drunk and unfettered by all the rules or whatever might have held her in check ? kn ow what i mean??? - it really could make ya crazy. i'm pretty sure it's both- no real hard and fast line between the good and bad thems.
i sure with i could fix things for me and anyone else- ya never can tho, can you??? i keep wondering about people who deal with this stuff at a young age and how it changes them, their lives, etc. i wonder if i'm particularly lucky to have gone 60+ years or so before having my faith in people so mangled. i can't imagine being skeptical and suspicious at a young age. how it must change you, change your life, work on you and any r you have. i'm glad i never knew or even suspected. i don't mind having been a trusting dope if that was what it was. it was better by far than this-
ignorance is bliss for sure. oh well huh? i think i better go back to work room from he!! and keep on "digging out" here. made a start today after airport run- made some progress - uncovered my sewing machine & work surface around it. i can do more for anotehr hour or so. read a book last nite and today- felt good to "go somewhere else" for awhile.
ya khow, i think even thinking of finding a new r or meeting someone to date makes me tired still- i do not even feel like thinking about anything that "challenging" yet. ya just can't "turn it off", just like that - - can you - like a faucet- feelings that have a long long life??? I'm sure you're rite that we just have to keep plugging along on our own little journey til the time is rite for us and the way becomes clear.
i sure never realized i could ever have this much patience and endurance. (i hope in the end it's enough) It's sooooo hidden a thing- a person's sheer will to carry on and then doing it. unseen by anyone really- but you do know it , don't ya. the amazing effort & the hard-to-see progress. I think of my mom when my dad died and she just carried on with five kids to be responsible for- all the jobs and what a huge crisis in her life. sheesh!! even my sisters- shattering divorces- four carried on - one coulden't. it's big man . oh well, toomuch heavy stuff for me- i'm outta here.
hoping to continue along here with no major traumas/I can feel the absence of big worry and responsibility for someone else- it's sad but it's a big big weight off one's shoulders. i am - awaiting wisdom to blam down on my head as yusual- who knows???
happy new year- i'm gonna go dig around more and put junk away - . have a mountain in the attic and onne in teh cellar too... oh mannnnnn
