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Joined: Apr 2014
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beachmx Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: woundedfool
Originally Posted By: beachmx

1. How far should I take this 180 idea in respect for dating others? I’m assuming it’s too much to start randomly dating or listing a profile on dating sites to increase value or the perception of moving on.


IMhO, your situation is way too fresh to do this.

Think 180's are more about the stuff your already do:

If you like baseball, but don't go to baseball games.... go to one.

If you never volunteered, go volunteer.


Hmmm I like the volunteer idea... but i always pursued any interests I had.


Me: 43, W:42
M: 11 years
T: 17 years
Step S:22
Separated: 5/08/10 (came back 8 months later)
Bomb Dropped: 04/12/14

Doing a 180 and Sandi2's rules
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 19
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beachmx Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: MrBond
"1. How far should I take this 180 idea in respect for dating others? I’m assuming it’s too much to start randomly dating or listing a profile on dating sites to increase value or the perception of moving on."

Wow that's fast. You haven't even changed yourself to stop those behaviors that she didn't like about you. So do you and your W still swing?

I'm not sure how you expect her to just be exclusive to you if you're actively having sex with someone else.


We haven't been actively swinging for about a year. I have not had any A or OW outside of this marriage. Only OW OM were in the context of swinging, which was with the W present.

I have changed alot, but agree its very soon.


Me: 43, W:42
M: 11 years
T: 17 years
Step S:22
Separated: 5/08/10 (came back 8 months later)
Bomb Dropped: 04/12/14

Doing a 180 and Sandi2's rules
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 19
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beachmx Offline OP
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Update:

4/22 Today, I had a business dinner go late into the night (midnight). Discussed moving my home base business into a commercial space. The following morning my W inquired what I was doing. I explained the sit, and she agreed it was a good idea to explore that avenue, even though I can have the house (don't want it, too many memories)

4/23 Scored a new contract with work, so financials have improved. Have started cleaning up the landscaping around the house, which is much appreciated by the W.

BUT SETBACK: She told her son today about the D. I see this as a major setback and I will try to detach even more. Will read the DR tonight and look for ideas.


Me: 43, W:42
M: 11 years
T: 17 years
Step S:22
Separated: 5/08/10 (came back 8 months later)
Bomb Dropped: 04/12/14

Doing a 180 and Sandi2's rules
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 19
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beachmx Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 19
I have read the first few chapters in DR, and find the Divorce traps may pertain to our situation distinctly.

W best friend is a therapist (not marriage) but the influence is still profound. She asked for a hug today... i feel she really wants to work on the relationship, but is convinced she's 'doing the right thing'.

On a side note, my title has a smiling face, as well as next to my name. I assure you, I'm am NOT happy! How do I change the emoticons!


Me: 43, W:42
M: 11 years
T: 17 years
Step S:22
Separated: 5/08/10 (came back 8 months later)
Bomb Dropped: 04/12/14

Doing a 180 and Sandi2's rules
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