you're so right sandi She got angry at me last night when I asked her again. It will be a boys trip and I am building it that way for them but she is really put out that I am now focused on going without her as she always believed I would agree to her coming. Still waiting for her to give me the passport copy. She seems very depressed right now, very rarely smiling and really irritable. I feel a bit sorry for her as I am starting to find my feet on my own and have started to enjoy socialising etc.Whereas she seems to do very little and has started to offer to have the boys more at weekends as she doesn't seem to have much going on. I always feared that for her as our friends have more or less abandoned her due to the things she has done, I think that is sad because we had a really good network and although they are all still there for me I do worry that she will become more and more isolated on her own as she virtually no-one apart from one long time friend.
it now seems she won't make any decision without consulting her counsellor. I asked her yet again about telling the boys now to give them time to adjust. She says she will speak to him ref this and come back to me. This is a girl who was never afraid of making decisions and now can't seem to make any. I barely recognise her now and I find it very sad that she has almost disappeared as a person from how she was. She looks thoroughly miserable, I just wish she would talk to me even though I don't expect her ever to come back, but just so that I can have a conversation with her to see how she truly is. But i guess that would do me no good anyway.
Its amazing how someone we love and care about can change so rapidly. All of us here experienced the same things your going through.
They become a shell of who they once were. Unfortunately all we can do is lovingly detach, look after your kids and focus on becoming the best person you can be!
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
thank you Maritimer I have really detached from her now. I do still love her but I know I can no longer be there for her as she needs to find her own path. 6 months ago we were a close, loving couple, now she is gone. I really do hope she finds what she is looking for, I am moving on and have a clear path ahead which is life without her, it does make me very sad sometimes though.
thought I would give an update. My marriage is over, there is nothing I can do to save it My W is now a complete stranger to me and I am fairly sure she is in a new relationship. So for me the choice is to move on with my life and be the best dad I can be for my boys who still live with me full time and only see her a few times per week. I have developed a close friendship with a lovely girl who is helping me heal from all of this as she has been through a very similar situation. It is very early days but at least I now know I will be ok no matter what. Thank you to all who posted with advice over the past few months but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Good luck to all of you on here regardless of how things turn out, we will all be happy again.
Thanks for the update. Sorry things turned out this way. I really believe you are going to be fine, although it doesn't keep you from experiencing deep sadness.
Your boys have a great dad! I am glad they are living with you in their home.
I wish the best for you, Andy. Take care of yourself.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
