Sandi - not thinking about sex, not really sure I am even ready for that right now as I have caught her in so many lies which is painful and eventually, I hope we are in place to deal with those. I am really only thinking about sleeping in the same bed to be physically close, without sex. In my mind, it might help things to narrow that distance, but your point is well taken.
I too hope you are wrong, I'd like to think I know her well enough to say that is not who she is, but that is just not true anymore. No contact with OM still seems to be holding. I feel like I am seeing very small positives, a slight warming, but am cozignant that I might only be seeing that becasue it is what I hope for.
She made a couple comments in the last few days that really sent my mind spinning. It was all I could do to not react, but I did not and tried to tell myself not to mindread and not to believe 1/2 of what she says or does. I was pretty miserable (internally) the last few days thinking about what she said, but pleased that I did not react and ask her about it.
I have settled on the fact, that I will likely not know where this is headed until the fall when we are all back in the US. I told her previously when she stated we could go back to the way it was (right after she dumped OM) that I could not, that we had to deal with the issues that made her unhappy (Sandi's comment on that statement is still noted). She will not be able to go back into the house until I am there because of when our lease with the current tenant is up. I feel like at that point, I will need to re-state that boundary, if we are going back to the same house then there has to be a commitment to working on the M.
This means more months in limbo with me continuing the 180s and GAL'ing unless she decides to take some positive actions.
Sigh, oh well......just keep looking at the long term.
__________ Me - 43 Wife - 41 S's - 12 & 9 Togther - 18 Married - 14 My goal - reconciliation and a better/stronger marriage
The man wants to have sex in order for things to be better. The woman wants things to be better in order to have sex.
This should be on some kind of list somewhere here for people to think about. Golden, sandi, golden.
me: 45 W:45 M 20 years T 22 years S14, S13, S11, D9 BD 2/28/14 D papers served 3/3/14 I moved out 3/15/14 MC start 4/2/14 I moved in 6/2/14 D suit withdrawn 6/30/14
