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#2239787 - 04/22/12 12:45 AM Re: THE VETS [Re: JCJ]
dbmod Offline
Member

Registered: 08/04/08
Posts: 2155
Originally Posted By: JCJ
Well I don't know if I am a vet but I survived and came out the other side and am so much happier than I ever was, I think that would be my main achievement.

This was a huge learning curve for me and I wish it had been less traumatic but then I wouldn't have learnt the lessons I needed to.

My exh was in his 20s and went through a huge life crisis after nearly dying through a long serious illness that be still has. He had an affair, bought (bad!!) new clothes, new car, idiot new friends, new girl etc. We have been divorced a year and a half now and separated since 2007.

What I learnt

- that you can't help people that don't want your help.
- rejection is heartbreaking but most of the time it is more about the other person than you.
- take responsibility for yourself. Look at your contributions to your marriage and learn from your mistakes. Do not blame yourself and dwell too much, forgive yourself, learn and move on.
- life is for living, enjoy yourself and be present because time is too precious to waste. You won't get your children's childhoods back ( or your late 20s in my case).
- life may not be what you envisioned but it has a funny way of working out.
- this will take time, allow yourself time to heal from the hurt and know (I promise) that things will get better.
- lastly, and most importantly take opportunities as they come along. This is time for growth, use it wisely.

I thought divorce was the worst thing ever, I do still feel shame about it and it is a sore spot, however I have accepted it and embraced opportunities as they have come my way.

You will survive whether your marriage is saved or not, you will be stronger and most probably a better person for this hideous experience called separation.


beautiful
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#2250566 - 06/01/12 06:13 PM Re: THE VETS [Re: dbmod]
dbmod Offline
Member

Registered: 08/04/08
Posts: 2155
^
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#2250574 - 06/01/12 06:55 PM Re: THE VETS [Re: dbmod]
2stepboogie Offline
Member

Registered: 01/09/11
Posts: 1496
I suppose the success is still being written since I am not dead!

I am honored that a person like Grit would mention me since I admired and respected his advice beyond measure.

cat
Mach
Gritter
BITS
25
Faith AK
MICHELLELT


and SO many others...
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