1. to work on detachment which seems to be the most effective course for me and my sitch right now 2. to give my wife space and time to be with her twin sister who has gone through a terrible crisis 3. start working on 180s 4. to be a pleasant as possible to my wife since we still live together 5. only be intimate if she initiates (this is hard!) 6. accept that my wife is confused and that is a normal part of any marriage or R. 7. GAL!
1. No Booze 2. No Smoking 3. Get in shape 4. Detach emotionally from W 5. Get a life away from work, find a hobby/activity for me 6. Be less irritable with everyone 7. Help the children with their homework 2 times a week (I dont get home till late, so finish earlier to do this one) 8. Take the children ice skating this christmas. 9. Take good care of my Mom now dads gone. 10. Save my marriage, in a way that we want it to be saved. No plastering over any cracks.
(not necessarily in order)
H:38 W:35 D:11 D: 8 Married: 13Yrs ILYBNILWY: 15/11/09 PA discovered and shock and awed 17-12-09
1. Keep and improve on healthy lifestyle changes > lose more weight > more confidence > stop relying on him for self esteem.
2. Read more > keep myself occupied/entertained/engaged > learn interesting things > have something to talk about other than same old stuff.
3. Pick up my paintbrush again > get my brain used to creating more > improve the quality of my work > get more involved in the local art community > make friends with similar interests.
4. Stop pursuing my H sexually for a while > make sex a lower priority in my life > Give him a chance to pursue me > Feel sexually empowered because I hactually have a choice to turn it down instead of taking what I can get.
4) This is a high-minded goal, but I'd like to have a better job by the end of the year. Closer to home, making more money, or possibly both!
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I wnat her to hold my hand again. I want her to talk more openly to me, about what she is feeling. I want her to snuggle on the couch with me again. I would love a date night, or just go out for drinks and talk.
1.To stop pursuing my H sexually 2.To give him the space he's asked for 3.To work on my detachment from the marriage 4.To be the best mom I can be 5.To start teaching again
1.To stop pursuing my H sexually 2.To give him the space he's asked for 3.To work on my detachment from the marriage 4.To be the best mom I can be 5.To start teaching again
Jeanne---these are all great things for you to be doing and working on....it gives me a little more of a feeling of your situation, too. However---DB goals, are relationship goals. They describe what your spouse -or- you and your spouse will be DOING. They are action oriented, positively stated, small...things that can happen in the next two weeks or so.
If your situation were to change for the better...how would you know...what would be the VERY FIRST sign? What would he say, what would he do?
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
1. To be the man I'm intended to be for my wife and children 2. Have my wife fall in love with me again - and maintain that love 3. Be attentive! 4. Get fit. Have fun. 5. Fix financial burdens.
Me:42 W:43 M:03/08/98 SD17, D13 Found out about affair:12/16/10 Found out again: 06/22/12 Split: 06/22/12
My H has walked away. He works away two weeks on and then his home for two weeks. He now rents a room in a house a town away and has some very seedy roommates.
1. He will email me. 2. He will ask for my new phone numbers. I changed both my cell and landline. 3. He will want to work on things without me pushing him to want this.
