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This is not my primary board - so I don't get over here much. But what do you consider
Quote: serious MLC/WAW?
Post to my post above - I'll try to find your posts also. It is hard to keep up with all the boards when life returns - one of my W's pre-MLC problems was "you spend too much time on the computer"..............
_________________________ This has been a turning point to a better M. In 25 years will either of us will remember much about this time? Because in 50 years neither of us will remember much of anything.
Whole buncha "successful women". not a lot of "successful men" in this thread, seems like
[would be nice if moderator would go back and edit to indicate gender of person involved]
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My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
There are different types of success. Here's one...she ended up divorced, but she was successful in saving herself.
I'm getting ready to head down to Florida for a couple of days. I have a friend who lives in Safety Harbor not too far from the ocean. I'm looking forward to the break from my real life if only for a few days, but I still have to contend with my real life until Thursday.
In dealing with that life I realize that although things have drastically changed life keeps getting better. I'd never want to go through anything like this again, but I have a freedom that I've never had, or at least not for a very long time. I know I'm not alone in saying this but when the dust settles it feels as though a weight has been lifted from our shoulders. I feel nothing like I originally thought I would after the divorce, but I know from reading so many threads that this is so common. When you're knee deep in it you just can't understand. What was most important was keeping my family together at any cost which meant I totally overlooked the fact that I was empty and tired from working so hard to keep it together. It kept me in a place where I believed that this was my fault and I must be deserving of this betrayal. The way back in searching for my North Star was a long one, and there were times when I wanted to give up, in the end it was worth the wait.
Living with someone who suffers from depression (which I'm sure most people in MLC battle)takes us down with them. It zaps your soul and steals your spirit. The great thing is that with time and work on ourselves we are resilient and we can get it all back. I guess I'm saying this because in reading the MLC board I still see a very common mistake. We seem to think that divorce means everything that brought joy to our lives is over. I know I did but what is it that's over? We don't take into consideration that while we're trying to fend this off we are scared, and hopeless and at someone else's mercy. I think now that the very worst thing we can do is to give someone else our power and underestimate our worth. Maybe our worth isn't much to someone in MLC but it certainly is to our kids, family, friends, and most importantly should be to ourselves.
I say this because I see so many people that I care about here just starting the process or in the middle of the storm. Sometimes it looks as if there's no end in sight, and maybe we never will be completely over it, but that doesn't change the fact that we do heal and we can be happy again.
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In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Can we start to post a few more in here? Just thought I would ask.
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Bomb: about 3 years ago. Probably MLC for about 6 years OW 20s Divorced 11/09 OW moves away...but R still seems to be going Not standing...but watching to see what happens.
And if we do, lets limit it to Marital Recovery Successes, not "personal successes", please?
I can go read about "personal successes" on some other self-help site. I come here to read about marital recovery successes.
Hearing about more successful Men surviving wife's MLC, would be quite nice to hear about.
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My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
My situation was a success Not sure if anyone remembers me but you can look up my old posts. It's been a year since H moved back home! Things are going fabulous - I am so thankful and I honestly wouldn't change what happened/what we went through. Our marriage has never been better.
There IS hope all!
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Me: 38 H: 39 DS: 6 DD: 3 Married 7 1/2 years - together for 10 Bomb - 12/17/05 MOW Bomb - 12/25/05 Separated and H adamantly wanted a D: 1/16/06 H moved back: 8/06