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Jim,

Just bumping you up.

Dotto

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Hey Dotto,

The trip is Oct 7-18. Two full weeks where I take care of the kids by myself. To me it's no big deal, but everyone else has this immediate reaction like 'Oh my God...can you handle it'. Well...yeah...I've taken them weekends by myself, my W does it all the time, and I'm a very competent, capable dad. My kids can be high maintenance, but doing it MY way w/o my W looking over my shoulder, getting the third degree, etc. will be very refreshing.

Not much to say really. No compelling need for advice. Just poking around a bit and see if I can help someone else in a small way.

I'll drop by your thread.

Jim

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Jim,

Sounds like even though you will not be actually taking a vacation you will feel like you're on one. Good for you. You are a role model father. Kids come first- then you- then W. ENjoy, enjoy,enjoy your kids- Have a great time- be crazy and childish like them. It feels great. It will boost your morale!

You're doing great- glad you're around.

Even if you don't need any advice it's always nice to hear some positive reinforcement and get a bump up.

Have a good one

Steph

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Steph,

Thanks for the kind words. I never prioritized my values like that but you hit it right on. My kids are NUMBER 1. They are EVERYTHING! I'm not as emotional as I'd like to be but through all this, it's been the times when I've thought about losing access to my kids that the tears come. It's scary sometimes how totally in love you can be with them. My W...well, I love her, I want her, but I'd be just fine w/o her.

I would add my home in there somewhere (maybe bump my W to #4 ). Love where I live and don't intend to leave unless they drag me out screaming.

Thanks!

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Hi Jim,

I have no boutbt that the days in October will be the best you've had in a long time. Like Steph said, enjoy your kids.

My alien is popping in occasionally and I'm anxious about the attorney but I'm keeping my PMA. This is for me.

Off to the Cape for the weekend. Hope weather is warm.

Talk to you soon.

Dotto

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Hi Jim,

Just wanted to say hi. I have seen and enjoyed your posts. Your kind thoghts and wise words to so many people are wonderfull.

We share similar intrests and values and I wanted to introduce myself and say hi.

My profession is computers and I love the mountain, Hiking, Climbing, etc. Since the kids came I have not done much in the mountains but I hope to start again next summer.


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Eric,

Happy to meet you. I've seen you around as well and appreciated your kindness towards others.

It's truly therapy for me to share words of encouragement. I must confess though that it's much easier to give advice than to practice what you preach, but I'm getting better.

I see that you've been here longer than most and that you and your W have come a long way. It's inspiring to those of us who hope to get there some day as well. I noticed you put 'Family' first in your list of hobbies. You're my kind of guy, although I would go further and say 'Family' is my life, and if you had to break that down my kids are 95% of it. I am not the type of guy to get together with my buddies for a few beers (or 'beeaaz' as we say in Boston). Hiking a mountain with my S is my idea of a good time. I've come to realize that I am (and will be) a pretty happy guy, w or w/o my WAW, as long as the kids are an integral part of my life. I won't deny that I feel part of me is missing right now, but that will heal with time.

Romance/dating?...I am so not ready for that. I haven't given up hope for my M, and wouldn't be fair to someone else to start a new R.

Well babbled on enough! See you around!

Jim

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Jim,

From what I read on your thread. I think you our doing great and i feel very good about your marrage and its future.

I am not a go out and drink beeers kind of guy either. But I am a recovering work-aholic. Computers and changing technology is very demanding and I spent way to many years working 80 hour weeks.

I would be honered to call you a friend and look forward to visiting with you in the future.

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Jim,

I wanted to wish you a good evening. Thanks for stopping by. Give big hugs and kisses to your kids.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Steph

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Hi Jim

Just finished reading your entire thread in detail.

My wife was very adamant about the separtaion and we discussed divorce alot and in great detail. There was also a lot of very wierd stuff that went on (Very very Wierd).

I heard her talking to her friends about us and her plans to divorce me. Almost everything I heard expressed from her about us was her desperate need to get away from me.

But many of her actions did not match her words. Alot of great things happend via my doing more and more with the kids. Game play with the kids drew my wife in and we started playing cribbage almost every night as well as other board games with the kids and with us as a couple.


I bought her a house to move into in March of this year and Moved her in April. Durring moving her in to the house and helping clean, paint, and remodle the house she ended up telling me I might as well move my clothes in. Things have been getting better and better since.

Anyway a ton of stuff happend. I really should revive my old thread and get things written out all that has happend in the last year, gosh the last ten years really.

My wife was/is controller as well and I was the wiwp ( I have more to share on that topic if your ever interested)

Have faith and expect that your marraige is going to blossom and thrive. LRT as definded by JamesJohn is great because it gives you the detachment needed to handle the pain and uncertanty. But remember to be her friend, partner and supporter.

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