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Joined: Apr 2005
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Bump

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bump for bandwidow

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After 16 years of marriage my wife has said she is bored of the home, me and as the kids are nearly independat she has nothing to do. Reading the previous posts has made me see that she is going through MLC she is 40 i am 38.She has said that she isnt sure if she wants to be with me. and that I should give her time to come to a decision as to what she wants to do.
I have tried to make life for her easy by cooking, cleaning, ironing etc whilst she works shifts. She is in defferent towards me I give her all the hugs and kisses she avoids me and nothing is returned.
I used to work shifts but due to a injury I am now office bound, i have gained a few pounds but we still had an passion for each other.
A few questions:-
1, will it help if I make myself fitter (more attractive).
2, will it help if I continue to make her life easy (cleaning etc) help.
3, Will offeering to join in with new pastimes hobbies etc or suggesting them work.

I need help I am in limbo just waiting, cant sleeep, or eat, nothing else seems important at this moment.
this has been going on for around 3 months now.
Is there anything I can do or say that will, when she is through this bring her back to me.


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Quote:

1, will it help if I make myself fitter (more attractive.



Yes....you will notice her "checking you out" but she probably won't say anything at first.

Quote:


2, will it help if I continue to make her life easy (cleaning etc) help.



It might, was that a complaint of hers before, right now she is all about herself remember.

Quote:


3, Will offeering to join in with new pastimes hobbies etc or suggesting them work.




She may see that as you trying to control her.


There is no magic pill for MLC I am sorry to say. What you can do now is read posts, and give her her space. You will want to start a thread of your own. Make the changes for yourself and she will notice. Take care of you and your kids. Good luck


I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
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Good stuff but one question: if H says ILY, which he does often, (either cuz he does, and or because he wants me to wait for him, or he's just crazy and confused) shouldn't I say it back? DB said to "keep road home paved and smooth" so I don't know if Not saying it back will look cold. Ideas? He is visiting this weekend--tonight.
jc


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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This sounds so much like my husband. He is 39 and is having an affair with one of my former 26 year old daycare parents. He says stuff like "he is almost 40 and wants to be happy and do things he hasnt got to do." We have been married for 14 years and have 14, 11, and a 8 year old. What happen to responsibility?


"You will conquer ostacles to achieve success."

rabsnider
H39
me37
S14
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Bomb 8-26-06
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...true#Post893220
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Hi, gotta bump, so I can find it later, MLC man is due home any minute!!!

L \:\)

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^ Bumping up. Some pearls of wisdom for the newbies.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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