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A Message from Michele
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Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42397
03/17/02 05:52 AM
03/17/02 05:52 AM
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 3,315
Boulder, Colorado USA
Michele Offline
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Michele  Offline
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 3,315
Boulder, Colorado USA
Definitely a keeper.
Michele


The Divorce Buster
Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42398
03/17/02 06:53 AM
03/17/02 06:53 AM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,067
Deep South
BigMouth49 Offline
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BigMouth49  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,067
Deep South
Funny...I was just re-reading about LRT, when I had decided that I am already at that stage and MUST use it, when I took a break to scan this post.

I have nothing more to lose and everything to gain by using it...and your post, along with DB & DR's references to LRT gave me a little more hope, and took away a bit of fear of this technique. Excellent !
BigMouth49 << NO MORE !

Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42399
03/17/02 09:39 PM
03/17/02 09:39 PM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,234
Phoenix Offline
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Phoenix  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,234
Does this mean a roll of duct tape is in order?

Especially when starting off, this could be bought in bulk. Sayin from experience [Big Grin]

Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42400
03/18/02 11:04 PM
03/18/02 11:04 PM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,234
Phoenix Offline
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Phoenix  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,234
This needed another bump.

Got so busy blabbing with friends I ran out of time to find the old thread and update - give others a chance to pummel me. Fair's fair.

Thought about some other underused Michele stuff.

People get so caught up in their drama they forget that Michele has a wicked sense of humor! And she give that upbeat spin on techniques all over her writing. Has anyone tried wearing groucho glasses while discussing something touchy?

One of my more successful forrays was...IGgy had this word that really just drove me mad. Bad, painful association and he knew it but he kept saying it. No, it wasn't Niagra Falls...

Anyway, I finally told him that every time he said that word, I was gonna kiss him (a good one too). If we were in too much public I'd stroke his arm or something. He was flabbergasted. "You're gonna give me something I want for doing something you hate?" Yep. And it worked. It really really worked.

Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42401
03/19/02 01:32 AM
03/19/02 01:32 AM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 8,334
The GREAT Pacific Northwest
Jamesjohn Offline
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Jamesjohn  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 8,334
The GREAT Pacific Northwest
quote:
Originally posted by Phoenix:
Even if not doing a LRT, just doing something that makes you uncomfortable or maybe makes your DB recipient ANGRY! Doesn't mean it's not the exact right thing to do.

You brought up a very important point here Fee. Sometimes the things we do are gonna piss off our partner. You can see many cases on this board where they think we should have changed earlier, on their time frame. Sometimes, they have their minds made up to dump us, we keep doing negative things to reinforce their thoughts, then all of a sudden we've changed, and they're not so sure any more. We make them rethink their plans. We've been doing the same dance for so long that if we change our steps, it trips them up and they can't run on autopilot. You're right, sometimes it may be just the right thing to do.

Part of the LRT is taking the time for us to rebuild our self-esteem, our self-confidence, and self-respect. I'm sure all of us know people who rate pretty high in these traits. These people are very "attractive", no matter what their physical appearances are. They tend to "draw" people to them, and most other people feel better just being around them.

Take the time during your LRT to build upon these positive traits, and see what transformations occur in ALL of your relationships, not just the one with your partner. It's another one of those win-win situations for your life!!

And don't forget your Groucho glasses!! [Smile] [Smile]


JJ

Read about Divorce Busting« Telephone Coaching here!
Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42402
03/19/02 02:38 AM
03/19/02 02:38 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
sgctxok Offline OP
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sgctxok  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
jjjjjjjjj (oops, got stuck) and feeeeeeee (once again)....you guys are rockin!


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42403
03/19/02 02:43 AM
03/19/02 02:43 AM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,234
Phoenix Offline
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Phoenix  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,234
I was about to ask JJ if I'd had a chance to tell him this week that he's one of the neatest DBers around and then SG pops in...

Feel the love...Ok, enough of that touchy feely stuff. We gotta space this banter out enough for bump-ups.

Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42404
03/19/02 03:11 AM
03/19/02 03:11 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
sgctxok Offline OP
Member
sgctxok  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
ya girlfriend.

Hey JJ.......How about your take on the low sex desire thread (I posted a question). A guy's perspective would be a good thing even if he doesn't have the low desire. rusty


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42405
03/19/02 03:22 AM
03/19/02 03:22 AM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,035
Memphis
Roland Offline
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Roland  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,035
Memphis
gotta go where the wisdom is.....

W and I are separated. I have the kids [Smile] . If W wants to go out she is extremely fee to do so since she only has herself to take care of. If I go out I either have to ask her to sit or pay for a sitter. If I have to get a sitter it really adds to the cost of a night out. Should I ask the W to sit or just get a sitter? I want her to sit for 2 reasons, to save me $ and so she knows I am going out and not sitting home on my butt having no life w/o her but don't want to risk an argument.

Bless me with some wisdom.


I took the road less traveled.....now where the heck am I?
Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42406
03/19/02 03:37 AM
03/19/02 03:37 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
sgctxok Offline OP
Member
sgctxok  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
Rodrigo, I guess you see JJ's wisdom on going dark, which is the best.

Do you have family who can sit? Doesn't she have visitation? Can you go out when she's doing her visitation? It's sort of unusual for a guy to have the custody---can you count on her to be responsible with the kids?


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
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