Hi Joy,

As you have probably guessed - mine's been around 24/7, so I have barely been able to get on here.

Ditto what Sue and Phoenix have said. I wish I had more freedom to post now - he keeps coming in here...

I'm thinking and praying for you Joyful.

Particularly think on what Phoenix said about the depression possibly not being as bad as you thought once you really begin taking care of YOU! Joy - you KNOW where I was less than a month ago. I am NOT there now. You need to start DOING something - and quit thinking about it!

I will try to e-mail you when he's not looking.

Melanie

Well, today is much better. Except for my sister in colorado. She called me up and she said she got beat up by her h. I tried to get her to get help but she can't drive is in the middle of nowhere. Just pray for her. I wish I could help her but I don't know what to do but worry right now. She was in tears and seemed so desparate.

I know this doesn't pertain to my sit but then I see something worse then me now. I feel so much pain for her. She is living in a recreation vehicle moving park to park. With two girls too. She has heart problems too. Is only 40 years old. She wants to get out. Stated she can't call 911 cause her cellphone won't work there.

Anyway everything else is okay. Just worried.

Hi Joyful,

I'm glad you had a better day yesterday. And, sorry about your sis. BUT - having a better day does not mean the problems are solved.

It's up to you Joy - to take action to ensure that you will have a happy life! There are so many things you could do - but you must initiate the plan and then go for it! Stop letting HIM control your happiness! So - he was nicer yesterday - and that is a relief - I know the feeling well. BUT - even in the midst of the pain you can find ways to bring yourself peace, and be working on ways to improve your sitch financially.

Joyful - I am so much stronger now that I am actually DOING something about my sitch, and even though the pain is still there, and he has good and bad days - they aren't bringing me down as much. And, even when I am down - I know that I have a deep inner strength, and have the hope that I am actively doing things to change MY situation. You will not change him, and it appears that he is not changing himself (at least not now). He is still drinking. Don't let him decide if you have a good day! Start building things into each of your days that YOU are in control of - that you will find pleasure in - or that are furthering your goals. Let him drink. He won't stop until he's ready.

I think our 'Otis's' must be long lost twins or something! I can't say one is the evil twin - because neither of them is the good twin! Those good twins are lost out there somewhere in alien-land.

Melanie

thanks Melanie....yes them two otis's must be twins. lol. I know your right. I did call salavation army but they can't help till a certain date. I will call back then.

Sue...yes I have taped him. He wouldn't listen to the whole tape. Phoenix and you are both right.

As for today, I did get a call from Manpower. They left before I could call back. I was outside building a snowman. So much snow. Anyway, looks like it may be different this month I hope. Even if I work at this till I get something I want but I hope its the job I put in for. that they don't have me go through the testing and give me a crummy job I didn't apply for. That is how some temp agencies are. I found out. But for me, anything is better then nothing as long as the daycare is paid for. My mom will watch him in the beginning. I think but I can't be obligated for too long.

Nothing new from my sis. But everything is calm here so far. He has been doing good. I still don't have a voice so I am afraid to call that job back. they may not want me if I can't talk.

JOY! you got to build a snowman!!! oh my gosh! I would love to do that. the last time I built a snowman was on my honeymoon almost 12 years ago!
H and I built the cutest snowman and then some kids came and squashed it like a bug! LOL.

well thats great that you did something fun.
I am a sad case when it comes to snow, I miss it so much, we dont get much here in the desert.
so look out there and enjoy it for me ok?

take care
Sue

thanks Sue...it already fell over and almost all the snow is melting now. But I got a picture of it. Son was upset about him breaking apart. lol.

well at least you got a pic!
H and I had run back to our suite to get the camera, upon our return we discovered his unfortunate demise. it was only about 1 foot tall! but it was sooo cute.

hey do you recall seeing an article about addicts who stop growing emotionally at the age they started? I had heard this before about their emotional growth being stunted and I remember seeing someone had posted a link to an article about it somewhere but I cant remember where. if you recall let me know please. I wanted to send it to my mom. My sis is 37 and is still a teenager. she's been clean and sober 2 years.

thanks
Sue

Hi Joyful!
Hope things go well with Manpower!
Chris

Sue - you have a good memory. I was the poster of the link. I don't remember the name but it was in USA This Weekend months ago. I clipped it from the paper so if I find it I'll get it for you.

Joy - It's tough to give up being a drama junkie in a bunch of drama junkies...but someone's got to do it . And don't make excuses to not be productive. No matter the age, we all gotta start somewhere and then maneuver ourselves to where we want to be.

Hey girl, it's not easy but it's worth it ok?

Hey Joyful - sorry about your sister. I hope things go well with you with Manpower. Been trying to keep up with your sitch...I see you got to build a snowman! I would love to do that but in Central Florida, that is something you don't get to do!! Those two books that were mentioned sound like good books for you to maybe check out -I will pray for you! I am starting to get discouraged about my sitch now - all the court stuff, is starting to get to me and my h still acts like he is happy with the way things are - just being my 'friend'
Judie