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ozman Offline OP
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Lol. No I didn’t stink before. But I didn’t try so hard on my appearance

I know you guys keep telling me I’m to worried about her and not enough about me

BUT.

The bottom of the screen says SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE! DB stands for divorce busting. All these things saying this is the place to be to save your M. But everyone keeps telling me that chances are not good. I guess I just haven’t swallowed that pill yet. I’m trying though.

Thanks for being patient


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
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Oz,

Let’s rephrase your point above. The best chance you have to save your marriage is to apply DB and let go of the outcome.

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Originally Posted by ozman
Lol. No I didn’t stink before. But I didn’t try so hard on my appearance

I know you guys keep telling me I’m to worried about her and not enough about me

BUT.

The bottom of the screen says SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE! DB stands for divorce busting. All these things saying this is the place to be to save your M. But everyone keeps telling me that chances are not good. I guess I just haven’t swallowed that pill yet. I’m trying though.

Thanks for being patient


ozman, we all come here looking to save our marraige. What we end up learning is how to save ourselves.

Remember, it takes two to make a marriage, only one to make a divorce. Since you cannot control your W, only she can, there is no magic bullet.

What I can tell you is non-DBing actions, essentially pursuit and pressure, will virtually assure you end up D'd. This is why the divorce rate is so high! I read a stat where something like 90% of troubled marriages where traditional marriage counseling is used ends up in divorce.

DBing is not a guarantee. Sure MWD and other experts use flashy language to get your attention. But MWD would be the first to tell you that following DBing will only increase your chances of saving your marriage, it isn't guaranteed. If non-DBing gives you < 5% chance, then DBing raises that to maybe 20%? Some would say even less.

What I can also guarantee you, and I just told another poster this, is that if you DB while looking over your shoulder to see how she is reacting to it, then you will not increase your chances at all! She will feel like a caged animal and want to escape. You DB for you, and if she takes note and likes the changes, then bonus.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Originally Posted by LH19
Oz,

Let’s rephrase your point above. The best chance you have to save your marriage is to apply DB and let go of the outcome.


LH WITH THE HEAD SHOT!

THIS infinity%


M(53), W(54),D(19)
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Originally Posted by ozman
How does this work with answering her “what are you thinking about” with something vague
During this phase,


“what are you thinking about” is a temp check on you. She is testing how strong you are. If you say anything to "prove" that you NEED her in your life, you fail the test.


She thinks she knows you. Right now, your job is to PROVE HER WRONG. You are a strong, confident man that does not "NEED" her. You should actually strive to SURPRISE her. You think you knew her, guess what, you don't. Your other job is to understand her without judgment. Understand how she is feeling.



They all don't have to be vague or boring.


H:"My friend asked me to go sky diving this weekend. It is a long drive and I am trying to decide if I want to drive that far"


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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ozman Offline OP
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Maybe I’m overlooking the bad too

She got invited to a wedding of her coworkers. Told me she is going. Didn’t invite me. I figure that’s something you usually bring your spouse to

Just got home. She’s not here. Enjoying a cold one before I hit the shower. I found a pottery making place about two block away. Gonna see what it’s all about. I found a couple ranges too. May go brush up with my .40 cal.

I’m hurtin right now. Like really bad. Lump in my throat while I’m writing this. But this is what you asked for so here goes

I told her I’m GAL for first time. Here was convo

H. Hey I missed a call from you
W. Ya I went to sisters house to pick up S. We got invited to swim. You wanna go?
H. Hmm sounds nice it’s really hot out, you wanna go?
W. Hmm maybe. It is really hot
H. Well if not I think I’m gonna hit the shower and check out the pottery shop around the corner
W. (Voice changes forum upbeat, happy and content to a little irritated and like WTF). Uuuhhhh ok? I guess what are you gonna do)
H. Well swimming does sound nice too
W. Ok I’ll talk to (family) and see if they still want to
H. Ok well if I don’t answer I’m in shower


Call pretty much ended there. It was my first stab at attempting to actually GAL

also when she called. I let her call go to voicemail then called back about 5 min later


Me 32. W. 30
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Originally Posted by "Ozman"
W. Ya I went to sisters house to pick up S. We got invited to swim. You wanna go?
H. Hmm sounds nice it’s really hot out, you wanna go?


Hi Ozman, a tad wishy-washy. She asked you, indicating some willingness. I'd probably say either, "Sure, what time?" or "I have plans. Raincheck?" ::shrug:: Lately I'm on an "I do what I want" buzz. I'll defer to others here, who are maybe more steps removed than I emotionally. wink

I'm sorry she didn't invite you to the wedding, especially given that co-worker issue.

Pottery sounds like a fun GAL activity. Most shops you just paint--which is fun and meditative. Some let you create your own pottery, then bring it in and fire it for a fee. Some have wine nights for singles. Shooting well takes practice, and most ranges have weekly contests and other activities to introduce you to others.

Last edited by CWarrior; 07/17/19 11:51 PM.
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ozman Offline OP
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Oh and also thanks for that last bit of advice LH RTC STEVE and cadet. Didn’t mean to leave that out. You guys are really helping me understand the ins and outs. (Something important to me)


Me 32. W. 30
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ozman Offline OP
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Ohhh I just screwed up. She went into bathroom to change for swimming. She said @ you can go first”

I said “bathrooms big enough for both of us”

She just ignored me and shut door


Me 32. W. 30
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No big deal.

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