Hey Dillydaf. I just read your posts on here about being misogynistic.
Dillydaf: "We lived such separate lives both of us felt resentful of each other and unvalued and lacking in understanding of the other person's perspective. In any M there are inequalities and misunderstandings and these creep in and multiply over time, sometimes these are gender-based and sometimes they're power-based, and the two interact."
This statement about sums it up. Its not that I am hurt, resentful, totally bitter, or jaded completely torwards my W (Yes it is am emotion that comes and goes because of the division of the family.) But I try my hardest not to act that way torwards her, and realize that's some of the things that she is experiencing has absolutely nothing to do with me, and is her own personal issues that she has to work on and then there are some of the things I do have to do with me. Which I've done my best to acknowledge address and validate.
What I am having a problem with the ideologies of the feminist community the arm one hand promoting some good encouraging things for women and on the other hand are promoting false teachings, and toxic extremities, what do you want to research it and acknowledge it or not. Granted these are all theories to some men who are also considered extremist, and are bitter and jaded as well, but they have a lot of very valid points when it comes to bitter influential feminism, some false teachings, and what they are promoting to women. That is what is making me jaded and bitter. Because I see it as a general pattern in society in the relationships between men and women as well as all of my own relationships. Now you can argue with me on whether it's me or not, and whether I need to adjust my attitude and some of my own beliefs. Which is partially true. But I'm honestly trying to see reality for what it is and what's a societal standards and beliefs are encouraging. It's not that I'm putting down women. It is that I am calling not all of them, but a lot of them out on the double standards that they impose on us men within relationships because of current social conditioning and feminism. You can honestly say the same thing about the current state of affairs with us mend and that there's too much toxic masculinity going around. The truth is we all need to start looking to the past and how things work and how things were better and start improving our own behaviors and stop completely blaming the other sex for it. Another words we both need to take accountability for the way things are in society today we're not going to have a society left. Maybe my viewpoint and opinions are too generalized. I'll see what I can do to broaden them. Thanks for the 2 x 4 and your input
When and how did you guys tell your kids? Did you tell that that there were marriage problems before separation?
A few weeks before XW was scheduled to move out. We both sat down with them, explained that XW was moving out because she needed some space but that it had nothing to do with the kids and that we both still loved them and would be there for them and to support them no matter what happened. We explained logistics to them, that they would have rooms at my house and XW's, that they would still go to the same school, that they would come home to my house after school on her weeks, etc. etc. We assured them that the change to their lives would be as minimal as we could make it other than them living with her in a different house every other week. We did not get into why we were separating and we did not mention a future divorce. Kids don't seem to be interested in explanations, they are more worried about logistics and they are irrationally afraid that the split is their fault. So that was our focus.
EDIT- just noticed you're over 10 pages, time for a new thread!
Please start a new thread and link both threads together.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
